THE 2024 Toyota AFL Premiership season is over, but never fear, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is still going full steam ahead.
So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.
So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.
>> Check out the latest from Damian Barrett
IF ...
there is a lot of key-position potential in the Crows' forward line ...
THEN ...
that's all it is: potential. Fogarty and Thilthorpe. Looking forward to seeing what they've got in 2025.
IF ..
Josh Dunkley has played in a Grand Final in four of his nine seasons in the AFL ...
THEN ...
what a player. A GF win (2016, as a first-year player) and a loss (2021) at his previous club, a loss (2023) and a win (2024) with his current one. Back in February, Chris Fagan said of Dunkley: "He is the player most like Luke Hodge I have come across, in terms of his personality." One of the great recruits.
IF ...
Harry McKay has no intention of playing for anyone other than Carlton ...
THEN ...
the question will almost inevitably come from Brisbane anyway, and might have arrived already: would you want to replace Joe? The Lions will be ruthless in dealing with their options in the next two weeks. And yes, I know Harry is contracted until the end of 2030.
IF ...
Nick Daicos, still just 21, has been unlucky in the past two Brownlows and also missed on the Pies' best and fairest in 2023 ...
THEN ...
surely he will secure the 2024 Copeland Trophy, to be held Friday night.
IF ...
Essendon seems to be a quiet player in the trade period ...
THEN ...
it needs to get loud. There's simply not enough quality on this list to believe it will grow organically.
IF ...
the Dockers will have Shai Bolton officially on their books inside the next fortnight ...
THEN ...
there can be no ceiling placed on the 2025 season. No more conservatism, no more excuses, no more falling short of potential.
IF ...
Bailey Smith was the hottest footy prospect after the 2021 finals series and if Clayton Oliver was only two years ago being spoken of being the best-ever Demon and if Jack Martin even this season was capable of extraordinary acts on a footy field ...
THEN ...
what a coup if the Cats land all three. Yes, all three come with established and considerable baggage. But I love the boldness.
IF ...
two new faces in Daniel Rioli and John Noble will be playing off half-back next year ...
THEN ...
that's going to be exciting. Both take the game on at every opportunity, both use the ball well.
IF ...
nearly every major award in football these days is won by a midfielder ...
THEN ...
it was fantastic to see an old-fashioned outcome in the club champion gong at GWS. Full-forward Jesse Hogan, with 77 goals, a thoroughly deserving winner.
IF ...
there is one negative to emerge from this most extraordinary of seasons ...
THEN ...
it will be that the Hawks, having won an elimination final, will be placed in the toughest bracket of fixturing when the AFL assigns the double-up games for the 2025 season.
IF ...
Clarry was not contracted for another six years at a total of $10 million ...
THEN ...
after his off-field excesses and attitude in the past 18 months, he'd be fortunate to be given a two-year deal at $500,000 per annum. Just one of myriad Melbourne management messes.
IF ...
I've been critical of the Roos' list management decisions for seemingly six years, and remain dubious about the acquisition of Jack Darling ...
THEN ...
I get the logic behind Luke Parker. I'd be empowering him as a playing coach. And maybe even make him captain. Sheezel and Wardlaw will benefit immensely.
IF ...
the Lions are now officially in the market for a key forward ...
THEN ...
surely the Power have been for some time already. They've got Georgiades, and he is a gun. And they will land Lukosius, but he's not a key forward. Dixon has retired, and there are form and fitness doubts on Marshall.
IF ...
president John O'Rourke wants to actually be tough, and not just talk tough at a best and fairest function ...
THEN ...
he'd hold Shai Bolton and Daniel Rioli to the long-term contracts they were so happy to sign a couple years ago.
IF ...
the Saints were happy to throw huge numbers at Bomber Zach Merrett but cracked it so badly at Josh Battle wanting out that they banned him from attending this week's best and fairest function ...
THEN ...
here's this week's offering of footy hypocrisy. Saints need to grow up as a football club.
IF ...
there are hundreds of voices right now offering criticisms, abuse and suggestions after last Saturday's Grand Final debacle, which followed the debacle of the 2022 GF ...
THEN ...
there is one particular voice which should be listened to. Jude Bolton. This club needs a significant re-set, and no one knows better the origins of its magical transformation in the early 2000s.
IF ...
the Eagles are on a recruitment roll right now, with Andrew McQualter the new coach and Liam Baker on his way ...
THEN ...
they may as well go all-in on The Chad next week. I realise he's contracted to the Swans for 2025, but the Eagles already know he's open to returning to WA. Offering pick three in this year's draft and next year's first pick would have the Swans at least taking the call.
IF ...
you were to take a deep dive into the Bulldogs' midfield stocks ...
THEN ...
the one type of player they most need would be a replica of Bailey Smith. What a mess that relationships soured so badly after just five years together.
AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL
IF ...
the free agency compo "formula" has been a thing of mystery since it was introduced by the AFL in 2012 ...
THEN ...
surely there will be no surprises this year. Surely the Saints won't get a first-rounder for Josh Battle. Then again, Melbourne once got pick three for losing James Frawley!
