RUN-AWAY Bulldog Ryan Griffen says he was "distraught" and it was a "horrible time in my life" when his former coach Brendan McCartney was sacked by his old club.
But Griffen, 28, said McCarteny was not the reason he left the Bulldogs.
"I wasn’t going to change my mind, whether Macca was there or not," the former Bulldogs captain told The Age.
"I just got to a point in my career where I felt I needed to have a change."
Griffen said the reason behind him leaving was simply about happiness.
"I didn't stop thinking about certain stuff, especially last year (2014), and that was affecting, like relationships because I wasn't there - I was thinking about other stuff," he said.
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"[My mother] came up through the year and said I've changed, my personality's changed, you're not happy, what's wrong, you're not your normal self. Because your mother knows."
Eventually, Griffen decided that he just had to leave and that ultimately led to the dismissal of McCartney.
"It's not a good feeling," Griffen said of McCartney's sacking. "You know I wasn't sitting there with a smile on my face.
"I was distraught and that was a horrible time in my life, that whole process. But I still feel they were separate issues. I don't feel that it was just me leaving, that's the reason why Macca had to go.
"I wasn't going to change my mind, whether Macca was there or not. I just got to a point in my career where I felt I needed to have a change."
Griffen said Giants coach Leon Cameron had contacted him about six weeks before the deal was done.
Cameron - a former Bulldogs player and assistant - was inquiring about Griffen's wellbeing.
"Leon contacted me probably six weeks out, just to see how I was, how I was travelling. That's all that discussion was," Griffen said.
"... he didn't think it was possible [I would leave the Bulldogs]. I told him it wasn't possible then. I was like 'no, I'm going to stick it out."'
Needless to say, Griffen changed his mind.
"There was me trying to make everyone happy, and that's probably what brought me down. I was trying to make everyone sort of happy, happy medium.
"I needed to be refreshed. I was at a point where I wasn't enjoying footy and I wasn't enjoying going to training, I wasn't enjoying life outside, which was affecting things outside the club as well. I needed a change.
"I felt that getting out of Melbourne and getting up here - I have a great relationship with Leon ... to completely have a fresh start, I thought that would give me a spark to sort of finish my career in the right way. Otherwise, I was willing to walk away from the game.
"I think I probably would have played another year - obviously I had another year in my contract - seen that out and if I wasn't enjoying it, there was no point going on."
Griffen said his decision to join GWS was based on his relationship with Cameron and his desire "to find the love of the game again".
He stressed, the decision was not about McCartney.
"There were so many other issues than Macca. A lot of people think it was the coach and we had this shocking relationship, but with Macca, he taught me so many good things, I had so many good years under Macca. He taught me a lot of things along the way.
"It wasn't just Macca. It was the environment, it was just me - I don't know. I just got to a point where I wasn't enjoying training, I was worrying about a lot of other things with the captaincy as well that were bringing me down.
He said the toughest part of leaving was making the call to veteran Bulldog and the club's new skipper Robert Murphy.
"That was the toughest phone call I've ever had to make, to Robert, one of the toughest, because I had so much respect for Rob and he loves that footy club ... but he's so level headed.
"I just want [Dogs fans] to probably know there were certain reasons ... Life is too short to be unhappy, and that's the only reason why I've made the decision.
"I want the Bulldogs to succeed. I was there for 10 years. I have a soft spot for them, I love the club. So for them to get [key forward Tom Boyd in the deal], I was very happy and I'm hoping that Boydy can become the player that they want.
"And I feel that he can, because he's an absolute monster and that's what they needed, so I feel good that they got the player that they need."
