ANDREW DEMETRIOU: A life-size cardboard cut-out of AFLPA boss Matt Finnis. They spent so much time huddling together this years as they thrashed out the new Collective Bargaining Agreement that they might be suffering from separation anxiety this Christmas.
LUKE POWER, CHAD CORNES AND DEAN BROGAN: One of those USB photo albums, because as the losses mount in the first season of Greater Western Sydney, these blokes will want reminders that they once were premiership players.
SCOTT PENDLEBURY: A pen and paper set so he can start writing his acceptance speech for next year's Brownlow Medal.
GUY McKENNA: Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don't by Jim Collins. The Gold Coast coach has been let down by some of his leaders (yes, we're looking at you, Nathan Bock and Campbell Brown) so why not give him one of the best books on leadership, as he looks to find some new ones.
JULIA GILLARD: The Western Bulldogs 2012 calendar. The PM needs a new favourite player now that big, bad, bustling Barry Hall has retired.
ROSS LYON: Bubble mix. How else will he get started on building the 'Freo bubble'?
JEFF KENNETT: An iPhone. With the phone number of every footy writer in the country pre-set in the speed dial.
MATTHEW PRIMUS: Curb Your Enthusiasm, the box set. The Port coach will need something to make him smile through 2012.
JAMES BRAYSHAW: Lonely Planet Tasmania. Needs to know the way from Sandy Bay to Blundstone Arena and every tourist destination along the way.
SCOTT WATTERS: His very own publicist. Because he hasn't done enough media since being installed as the new coach of St Kilda.
LEON DAVIS: A dartboard and picture of Liam Pickering, for whenever he feels the need to vent as to why he's not playing AFL footy in 2012.
JAKE KING: A football. An essential tool of trade for someone who plays football for a living.
MARK ROBINSON: A personal assistant, because we don't know how the "people's bard" is going to organize his time next year, what with SEN, AFL 360, Gameday and his day job as a football writer (and perhaps as the new Mike Sheahan) at the Herald Sun.
ALASTAIR CLARKSON: A soldier set. Because when you lose one soldier…
BRENDAN FEVOLA: A Green Card because the only big-time professional football left for him is in the National Football League. And by the way, we wish him well in that venture because he could become a star.
EDDIE McGUIRE: Army fatigues for when he goes to war with GWS after the Giants sign one of his Collingwood players away at the end of the season.
CHRIS SCOTT: Who needs Christmas? When you walk into a football club and win a premiership in your first season, December 25 can only be a letdown.
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the AFL or its clubs
