IF
 		THEN
 
Adelaide
 		you've just woken up from a six-month hibernation ...… yep, that is Adelaide with eight wins, and yep, it did lose to the Western Bulldogs on the weekend.
 
Brisbane Lions
 		the Lions want a big-name coach to join them …… they need to sort out this boardroom battle. As in, RIGHT NOW.
Carlton
 		there's been one positive to come from Dale Thomas' injury …… it is that the price the Blues will offer him under free agency will be dropping by the week.
Collingwood
 		you missed the bold, premature and very possibly over-the-top call this column made last week on Brodie Grundy ...… don't worry, we're happy to repeat it. The kid will be an all-time great. Happy to put 'em on the line.
Essendon
 		the truth was to place Essendon in a better place, as James Hird declared it would …… one can only wonder where lies would have placed it. Hmmm.
 
Fremantle
 		Luke McPharlin gets fit and returns immediately to his best …… the Dockers win the flag.
 
Geelong
 		Steven Motlop was on the open market …… you'd have to seriously consider giving up the No.1 pick to get him.
 
Gold Coast
 		Jack Martin is only 70 per cent as good as the spruikers say he is …… when he's able to actually play AFL next year, this team makes the finals.
GWS

 		GWS continue to pursue Buddy to play alongside Jeremy Cameron and Jon Patton ...
 		... key forwards like debutant Kristian Jaksch will need to find a new home.
Hawthorn
 		Hawthorn do indeed get Buddy's signature on a fresh contract …… it must stage manage the announcement. No prime TV spots or newspaper front pages available right now.
Melbourne
 		Todd Viney wants to do his son a favour …… he must recruit some big-bodied midfielders to play alongside Jack. Someone like, say, Brent Moloney.
North MelbourneLachie Hansen isn't one of the most improved players in the competition ...… well, he just is. And well done to him.
 
Port Adelaide
 		you thought Travis Boak was just an honest toiler …… say sorry. Always been very good, now elite. And a superb leader to boot.
Richmond
 		it actually was complacency which cost the Tigers last week against Carlton …
 		… they're kidding themselves. Don't think it was, but the jury is nevertheless out.
 
St Kilda
 		it was round 22, 2012 ...… Ahmed Saad wouldn't be able to move in Melbourne. Round 22, 2013, and because of something going on at another club, no-one cares.
 
Sydney Swans
 		the Swans are looking to compete in this year's trade period …… they've now got a second-round pick price-tag to attach to Jesse White. It was fifth-round, at best, eight weeks ago.
 
West Coast
 		the coach wants to stay and the club wants him to stay ...… where's the official announcement? Does he really want to stay and does it really want him to stay? Suppose we'll find out soon.
Western BulldogsAdam Cooney had have ended up at another club …... it just would have been wrong. Well done to both parties.
 

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