CARLTON coach Brett Ratten has taken the unusual approach of suggesting that his Bulldogs counterpart Rodney Eade take a squiz at Brendan Fevola's footy brain.
The Blues head honcho was responding to Eade's suggestion that Fev wasn't the sharpest teaspoon in the cutlery tray. And Eade was responding to Fev's suggestion that the Dogs lacked a certain tenacity. Fev was responding to his team's victory on Sunday, which featured a 65-point turnaround in the Blues favour.
Which brings us to Fev's brain -- the one Ratts wants Rocket to run the old optic nerve over. Now, brain observation is no easy task -- unless of course Fev has in fact been stitched together in a manner first imagined by Mary Shelley back in 1818.
And if that is indeed the case, The Four Points can't help but wonder who was using Fev's fabulous footy brain before him . . .
Send your answers to probablynotoscarwilde@thefourpoints.com.au
2. You say der-bee, I say dah-bee
CHORTLES in the west with the news that Darren Glass is full of confidence ahead of returning to footy in the big western derby this weekend. And though Glass is shattered by the Eagles lowly ladder position, he is transparent in his belief that the good times will roll again.
Still, the Eagles annus horibilis has not stained Glass' reputation as one of the best backmen in the competition, nor chipped into his belief in his own ability. And leadership responsibilities certainly haven't cracked the Eagles captain. Isn't that smashing!
West Coast need to be wary, though, with high-flying nemesis Luke McPharlin finally letting slip the secret of his aerial ability. Asked if he would play forward or in defence, the warbling Fremantle tall confirmed he will start up the ground but could "float back again" should the need arise. Must be related to Sister Bertrille.
3. Light at the end of Tunnel
IT MIGHT be North Melbourne's last home game at the Gold Coast on Saturday night but whoever's in charge of topping up the meter maids' coin purses should act to keep Dean Laidley involved in at least some capacity with Australia's playground.
Speaking ahead of his team's encounter with the Lions, the Kangaroos coach was effusive about the tourist Mecca saying "obviously it's a good place for a holiday".
High praise indeed and, considering North's recent record on the road, pretty accurate too. Of course any connection between Laidley's nickname and the once-popular Orchard Ave night spot is purely coincidental.
4. Mr Perfect
OF COURSE building the perfect footballer mad-scientist style has a certain appeal. The Four Points has often fantasised about standing under a lightning-streaked sky, claws raised upward shouting out: "Live! Live, damn you!"
Think of it, you could have the agility of Gary Ablett (minus the still-recovering ankle), the disposal skills of Adam Cooney (minus the penchant for elephants and magicians) and the athleticism of Adam Goodes (leaving out the painful and socially awkward groin bone soreness).
Throw in a bit of Robert Harvey's durability and what would you get? Brett Ratten reckons he has the answer.
What to look for on afl.com.au this Thursday:
Spick, span, spiffy
Afl.com.au has a new look! Send your feedback to: solongasicanstillfindhuddo@afl.com.au.
Swifter, higher, stronger
It's almost time to once again get interested tae kwan do. Find out which players embody the Olympic ideal by joining Hardy and Rodski in the mean streets of Stats City.
Your fingernails know it's Thursday when . . .
They draw into your skin fearful of being gnawed ahead of the all-important ins and outs. Give your cuticles a break and log onto afl.com.au
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
