IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
the Crows had already managed to find the most extraordinary way to win a match in 2013 (v North, round nine) ...… last week they managed to discover the most extraordinary way to lose one.
Brisbane Lions
 
one was to read anything into what Jonathan Brown said on The Footy Show on Thursday night …… it was this: "I've played my last game."
Carlton
 
anyone is doubting Mick Malthouse right now …… don't. Massive list changes will occur at season's end. Judge him this time next year.
Collingwood
 
Dane Swan racks up a few more BOGs in the remaining games ...… could he get himself into Brownlow contention yet again? Yep, but only as runner-up to Gaz.
Essendon
 
One more person predicts a day in which James Hird is to willingly stand down …… it will break the record (previously held by those who say you-know-who has been done for a third drugs strike) as the most incorrect AFL prediction ever
Fremantle
 
every single supporter of the 17 clubs other than Freo was to be totally honest with him or herself …… he or she would admit to a strong desire to have Hayden Ballantyne as part of their team.
Geelong
 
the Cats right now, as they begin to look really vulnerable in the ruck, aren't second-guessing themselves about recruiting Hamish McIntosh …… they will soon.
Gold Coast
 
we accurately recall this time last year…… we will all remember that Gary Ablett was making noises that he wasn't all that happy. Haven't things been turned around!
GWS

 
the GWS boys knew the song as well as they did after their first win of the year ...
... we have to ask: How? And then: Why?
Hawthorn
 
Hawthorn officials were worried 10 weeks ago about Buddy leaving them (and they were!!) …… it is fair to say they are still worried, but not as worried.
Melbourne
 
Neil Craig could find a positive in what happened last week …… he shouldn’t be coaching this club next year. He won't be coaching next year.
North Melbournethe Kangaroos dished up that performance four more times in last quarters this year...… we’d be hailing Brad Scott as coach of the year.
Port Adelaide
 
Chad Wingard’s performance in the Showdown proves one thing …… it’s that this footy club got him cheap when it re-signed him until 2016 a month ago.
Richmond
 
Steve Morris doesn’t go top five in Richmond’s best and fairest …
 
… he’s very stiff. Been doing jobs all year. Kept Cyril to seven touches last weekend.
St Kilda
 
the Saints need to get Justin Koschitzke over the line to 200 games when he returns from a calf injury ...… he must play back.
Sydney Swans
 
the Swans win the flag this year …… Dane Rampe could be best pluck from obscurity ever. Well, at least in the 21st century.
West Coast
 
there is no doubt about John Worsfold coaching this club beyond 2013 …… why isn't it made absolutely official? Because there is doubt, that's why.
Western Bulldogsthe Doggies knock off the Blues on Saturday, or at the very least stay competitive for the entire game …... this column will need to ease up on the criticism.

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