Adelaide Crows

If

you take the view that you've got nothing to lose ...

then

throw a Hail Mary at Chad Wingard.

Brisbane Lions

If

the Lachie Neale project is as good as done ...

then

speaking of Hail Marys, may as well lob another one Cyril Rioli's way.

Carlton

If

your headquarters are on the fringes of the Melbourne CBD ...

then

we have no idea why you'd feel the need to fly Shiel to Noosa for your pitch. Old-fashioned Carlton arrogance. (Which we like and have recently missed, by the way!). Wonder if Bruce Mathieson even tried the old-fashioned brown paper bag.

Collingwood

If

you had massive, unsuccessful cracks at Lynch and May ...

then

nothing ventured, nothing gained. Maybe have one more go at May. He'll take the highest bid.

Essendon

If

you think we don't know what you're trying to do ...

then

bad luck, we do. You're obsessed with Jack Martin. Adrian Dodoro trying everything.

Fremantle

If

the Dockers secure Hogan ...

then

Ross is going to have to change his coaching style dramatically.

Geelong Cats

If

you've fallen short in the prelim finals of 2016 and 2017 and been eliminated in week one of the 2018 finals and you ...

then

face the loss of Tim Kelly, well, we see a trend, and it's not a positive one when we look into 2019.

NAB AFL TRADE HUB Latest news, videos and live blog

Gold Coast Suns

If

we've been saying it for four months ...

then

we'll shout it louder now: let Steven May go. He doesn't want to be there. You're better off without a captain whose mind is elsewhere.

GWS Giants

If

you've fallen short in the prelim finals of 2016 and 2017 and been eliminated in week two of the 2018 finals and you ...

then

face the loss of Shiel and Lobb, well, we see another trend, and it's also a bad one when we look into 2019.

Hawthorn

If

we're the Hawks and we're pitching for Shiel against Carlton, St Kilda and Essendon ...

then

we don't need to charter a flight to Noosa. All we're selling is this: we've got Clarko and Sam Mitchell. And our medical and fitness staff is proven to be world's best practice, and with your shoulders, you need us. And no brown paper bags.

Melbourne

If

Lever and May are among the back six come round one next year ...

then

we'd have you favourites for the 2019 flag.

INDICATIVE DRAFT ORDER Your club's picks

North Melbourne

If

Gaff doesn't come ... 

then

there's more money to throw at Kelly next year. But if Gaff does come, you'll be better placed to convince Kelly to come on less money.

Port Adelaide

If

Wingard wants to talk in riddles on social media ...

then

fine, that's his right. As readers of this column know, he's one of our favourites. But, Chad, work your stuff out, mate. Get on with life. You're clearly not happy, you wouldn't be talking to clubs if you were. So get outta there.   

Richmond

If

there's one thing we can't work out right now ...

then

it is this: was Richmond's bad loss in the prelim final A) reflective of their 2018 standing? or B) simply a really bad night at the office? Leaning slightly towards 'A'. But Lynch coming in fixes that for 2019.

St Kilda

If

the Saints aren't aware of what Jack Steven is saying to some people ...

then

they need to be. Yes, we know. He's contracted. But on so many fronts, he's: Not. Happy. Jaaaann.

Sydney Swans

If

the Trade Period isn't used to get Bud some proper help ...

then

2019 will be as ordinary as 2018. 

West Coast Eagles

If

everyone thinks about it for a moment ...

then

the Eagles' 2018 premiership was one of the all-time great, unpredictable successes. And they did it with real class. Arguably the best of this club's four flags since joining the AFL in 1987.

Western Bulldogs

If

we've always liked Lachie Hunter ... 

then

that doesn't change one bit. But Macrae would've been our choice as best and fairest this year.

WHO'S LEAVING YOUR CLUB? All the latest retirements and delistings

If

you said you were going to go public with all the official rule changes for season 2019 before the 2018 Trade Period ...

then

you've got 48 hours.