| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | Campo was no hope to be made the permanent Crows coach when he took over in round 15 ... | ... he’s some hope now. We don’t expect him to get the gig but he’s been ultra-impressive. |
| Brisbane Lions | Rockliff isn’t aware his captaincy methods are leaving certain teammates disillusioned ... | ... someone close to him needs to sit him down – right now - and tell him to change his ways before even more contracted players ask to be traded from the club he leads. Good player, in fact very good player, but thrashing around in the floaties when it comes to being an AFL captain. |
| Carlton | we could all just grow up and be adult about this ... | ... we’d be able to better deal with the fact that as of round one this year, Lachie Henderson was never going to play for Carlton in 2016. But contracts run to October 31. And for every player who chooses to leave a club, a club will be shopping around up to a dozen of its own. |
| Collingwood | anyone needs some advice on PR and spin ... | ... give the Pies a call. Blown up a second consecutive season after the half-way point, have two players out for two years under the performance-enhancing drugs code, but hey, come and take a look at our new whizz-bang corporate deal. |
| Essendon | he’s waited two and a half years to reveal the “truth” that he keeps saying will put him in a better place ... | ... hey, let’s all wait a bit longer. Ready when you are, James. |
| Fremantle | the doubters are growing by the day ... | ... we’re not. Ross The Boss knows what he is doing. As we forecast last week, got the ideal result against the Eagles, and knows he has even one more loss up his sleeve. |
| Geelong | Danger, Henderson and Scott Selwood do indeed end up here, and Clark, Stanley, Vardy and Menzel come good ... | ... sky will be the limit in ‘16. Have a sneaky feeling that this mob has a little surprise in store for 2015, too. |
| Gold Coast | this weekend’s game looked appealing three days ago ... | ... it isn’t as appealing right now. Attitude of Bombers players will be ramped right up, now that James has gone. |
| Greater Western Sydney | our gut feel is right ... | ... the Swans are in for a massive fight. On paper, Giants can’t win. But as ESPN’s Chris Berman always says in NFL commentary, that’s why we actually play the games. |
| Hawthorn | Cyril now has the “best 12-disposal game of all time” as well as the “best 10-disposal game of all time” ... | ... we’re setting him a real challenge: the best four-possession game of all time. We know he’s up to it. |
| Melbourne | it wasn’t for the Bombers this week doing something they should have done two and half years ago ... | ... this mob would’ve copped some real and deserved heat. And they’ll avoid it again next week when they beat the Blues by 10 goals. |
| North Melbourne | you’re prepared to re-sign the little champ for a 21st season after round 20 ... | ... what the hell was stopping you before round 17, in the lead-up to his 400th? All’s well that ends well, but Boomer didn’t deserve being hung out for so long. |
| Port Adelaide | the Power wanted to do anything this season ... | ... perhaps knocking off the reigning premier – again - when its focus might be elsewhere, would be a start. |
| Richmond | we think we’ve detected something in the past three months ... | ... it is that the Tigers do not lose games they would have in the past. Such as one against an under-performing Collingwood at the traditional time on the traditional ground. |
| St Kilda | there’s one guy we really want to see strut his stuff this weekend ... | it is Jason Holmes. You know we love a good back-story. |
| Sydney Swans | ever a team needed a guy to play ... | ... it is the Swans with Bud. Zero chance of a big finish to 2015 without him. |
| West Coast | you’re found guilty of biting ... | ... you’re doing high-fives, cartwheels, a couple of nudge-nudge-wink-winks and maybe even a few heel-clicks after you’ve been told you’ll be back playing in round 23. |
| Western Bulldogs | the Dogs get onto Etihad Stadium at any stage of the finals ... | ... as Journey tells us, don’t stop believin’. Working hard to get my fill, everybody wants a thrill. |
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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
