IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
we were running the Crows ...... we would've gone full-throttle publicly on the AFL integrity department for allowing North Melbourne to rest nine players, and therefore, effectively, removing any chance the club had of hosting a final.
Brisbane Lions
 
one of the really good, salt-of-the-earth guys wants out, even with a year to run on a contract, as Jack Redden does ...... the problem is even bigger than we knew it to be.
Carlton
 
Hawthorn gets serious in this match ...... the 190-point winning margin record held by Fitzroy (over Melbourne in 1979) won't stand a chance.
Collingwood
 
ever a club needed to respond to a run of embarrassing form ...... it was the Magpies last Friday. Credit where it is due.
Essendon
 
Goddard actually listened to what we said about him ...... he'd realise we never said that he was seeking to exit the Bombers, only that other clubs had had discussions with the Bombers about his future. And Brendon, we'll reiterate: Your name has, and will, come up in trade discussions.
Fremantle
 
Ross 'The Boss' believes it right to leave out at least 11 of his best players ...... that's fine. As we said last Monday, we'd do the same if we were him, because it's allowed. But there's a word for it. Tanking. Regardless of the result. And hey, it's AFL integrity department-endorsed.
Geelong
 
any die-hard Cats members leave Simonds Stadium on Saturday afternoon with dry eyes ...... they're not human. Kelly and Stokes exiting was bad enough. Stevie J also saying goodbye puts it into a different stratosphere.
Gold Coast
 
Dixon and Bennell are on this club's list in 2016 ...... we'll be surprised.
Greater Western Sydney

 
you think you're funny on Twitter. ...... you've got nothing on Heath Shaw. Still laughing about his pizza tweet from last year. Then he goes and does that Simpsons thing.
Hawthorn
 
Mitchell gets another 30-plus disposals ...... he'll yet again be in Brownlow calculations. Probably already is.
Melbourne
 
Demons officials from the past were this week scratching their heads over the AFL allowing two teams to deliberately select B-grade teams this round ...... we don't blame them. The AFL integrity department viewed things a bit differently back then.
North MelbourneTodd Goldstein lost a North best-and-fairest award last year, by a vote, after being rested in the final round ......  the stakes are even higher this year. If it costs him a Brownlow, then that's something you're never, ever going to get over. But hey, it's AFL integrity department-endorsed resting. Along with eight teammates.
Port Adelaide
 
Port Adelaide had asked the AFL if it could rest 11 players to potentially contrive an outcome which could see it drop three spots on the ladder and therefore get access to a better draft pick ...... the AFL integrity department would let it, wouldn't it? Nah, it wouldn't. Far easier to be strict with that type of integrity, isn't it?
Richmond
 
the Tigers' opponent is making a farce of how it is treating this round 23 match ...... full credit to the Tigers for simply doing as they have done since the horror 2-4 start to the season: controlling the controllable situations. Their attitude throughout 2015 is deserving of at least a week-two finals appearance.
St Kilda
 
you take out the round 21 draw with Geelong ...... the Saints' form actually isn't too good. Haven't won since beating the easybeats, Melbourne, in round 17.
Sydney Swans
 
we wrote this team off after a bad loss to Geelong in round 19 ...... we were premature in that assessment. Will win this weekend and then will scare the life out of Freo in week one of finals.
West Coast
 
there's a big-name player going under the radar right now ...... it is LeCras. Has the ability to explode in the finals and take the Eagles all the way.
Western BulldogsFyfe is our favourite (and has been since early 2013), Wingard our second favourite and Walters our third favourite ...... Stringer is next. With a bullet.


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Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian