IF
 
THEN
 
Adelaide
 
the Texan can return to where he was before the knee injury...
…look out. As silly as it seems, the Coleman Medal would be a possibility. So too the Crows having an impact in September.
Brisbane Lions
 
anyone was calling for Jono Brown to give it up midseason......they'll realise they were wrong after last week.
Carlton
 
there's one thing we want to happen this week......it is that a clearly immature 21-year-old will commit to a series of high-end counselling sessions in an attempt to reconstruct a professional and personal life that only six months ago looked rosy.
Collingwood
 
you've already made a decision to not play one of your footballers in a given match......please don't name that player in the selected team. Josh Thomas gave the "game" away post-match last week, Pies.
Essendon
 
you accumulate 25 disposals and boot five goals in a game of footy...…you're very stiff not to receive the best-afield medal. Ben Howlett was robbed.
Fremantle
 
people were thinking Brad might have gone past Stephen in the best-Hill-in-the-AFL category, and this column was in that group......it's time to reconsider.
Geelong
 
the Cats don’t bounce back in convincing fashion against the Blues......we'll be prepared to rule them out as a premiership hope. Signs have been very worrying in two of the past three weeks.
Gold Coast
 
Josh Kennedy goes to Gary Ablett...
...it will be fascinating. The game's two leading disposal accumulators, and the game's two highest contested-ball winners. Please let it happen, Bluey and Horse.
Greater Western Sydney

 
it was a miracle that this team defeated the Swans in round one...
...it is a bigger miracle that Phil Davis has made it back to a competitive game of footy this weekend, in the NEAFL. Well done, Phil.
Hawthorn
 
Alastair Clarkson and his family and doctors were hoping for a stress-free weekend in round 11……they didn't get one when the Giants nearly pulled off the biggest upset of the year.
Melbourne
 
there's ever been a better rejuvenation of a player than Lynden Dunn this year......it must have been a fair rejuvenation. Great stuff on the new, long contract, Lynden. Love your story.
North Melbourneafter round 11, you have twice travelled to Perth for two wins, been to the SCG for another win, and happen to be the only team to defeat Port......surely you will finish top four. Surely?
Port Adelaide
 
Chad Wingard gets knocked out again by big Jay Schulz......big Jay's licence to fly for everything will be revoked. We love your work Jay, but we love Chad's more!!
Richmond
 
Dimma needs inspiration, and boy does he need some inspiration...
 
...he should rip off the AFL Hall of Fame video of Richo and play it pre-match on Sunday.
St Kilda
 
there's one thing that has to happen in football, now that the Saints have led the way the way for the competition......it is that more women will be appointed to positions of power.
Sydney Swans
 
you are an AFL discard.......People told Tom Derickx to give up. They also told Mike Pyke to give up. Lesson: don't ever give up.
West Coast
 
there's a club slipping into nowhere land right now......it is the Eagles. Some very worrying signs have emerged.
Western Bulldogsyou want to prove you are not irrelevant......words aren't going to cut it. As Ron Barassi always says, the only thingthat counts is action. Yep, it's a harsh outlook and yes, we've beenbanging on about this for a while, but need to see actions. Now.

Click here for more Sliding Doors

Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian