ESSENDON midfielder Brendon Goddard says the club's non-participation in the finals because of the supplements scandal is a gut-wrenching blow.
Goddard said the relative youth of the club's playing list meant they could focus simply on winning matches during the ongoing crisis, but the strain became too much as the Bombers crashed out of the top four with four successive losses in rounds 18 to 21.
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"It was almost like the bubble burst," Goddard told the Nine Network's The Footy Show on Thursday night.
"When that final date (for this week's AFL Commission meeting) came out for the boys they got quite anxious.
"We talked about starting to prepare for the worst.
"It got to a point where it felt like the bubble burst and the guys just let out a sigh of relief and that reflected in our footy in our performances.
"We did a tremendous job to get in the position where we were and then we had that month where we really struggled in second halves of games.
"You could see in the boys' eyes that they were just deflated and they were struggling to get through the game."
Goddard joined the Bombers in late 2012 on a four-year deal in a desperate search for a flag after the near miss of a drawn grand final with St Kilda in 2010.
This week the League suspended Essendon coach James Hird for 12 months, took Essendon out of this year's finals, fined the Bombers $2 million and docked them draft picks.
Essendon have a 14-7 win-loss record ahead of their last-round clash with Richmond on Saturday night, but it is officially deemed to have finished ninth in 2013.
Goddard said he knew before last week's upset win over Carlton that the Bombers would probably be stripped of their finals spot.
"A few of us went into that game knowing what was probably to come," Goddard said.
"It was difficult playing that game and more so getting up for this week. It's gut-wrenching and really deflating.
"I was very angry last Saturday night before the game and really frustrated with what was to come."
Goddard said he wasn't sure where his anger was directed.
"For some reason I was just really really angry on how it was going to turn out," the two-time All Australian said.
Goddard said some of the media reports about possible drug use at Windy Hill during the 2011-12 pre-season were almost laughable.
"As a footy club we've tended just to ignore a lot of things that have been said in the paper," he said.