NORTH Melbourne coach Dean Laidley, June 12: "Shannon Grant will never play in the VFL while I'm coach, regardless of form." North Melbourne Football Club statement, July 10: "The North Melbourne Football Club has suspended Shannon Grant for one match as a result of a breach of the club’s player code of conduct."
North won't say what Grant's misdemeanour was, although a compact Melbourne newspaper suggested it had something to do with North's golf day. Not replacing his divots, presumably.
So, it would appear Shagger's got a nice weekend off, then, to go with the nice weekend off he had last weekend. Two nice weekends off in the middle of the footy season. Game of golf, maybe? Lovely. Unless you worry about little things like form, and team structure, and fitness and continuity.
We have an answer for all North's problems. Stand down coach Dean Laidley for a week. He can have a nice weekend off, catch up with the wife and kids, walk the dog, do the supermarket shopping. Game of golf, maybe? And Grant can have a run around with North Ballarat or Werribee.
2: Trivial pursuits
WE ARE always prepared to tackle anything at The Four Points™, especially if it's edible. The PS3™ Buzz!™ Trivia™ Quiz™ doesn't taste good at all™, but we're still prepared to give it a go in the interests of science™.
On our first go we got an outstanding 17 out of 20, and would have done even better if we'd known the nickname for Essendon™. Must do better next time, as we were told frequently at school.
So we tried again. Doing it left handed we got 15 correct. Blindfolded, just the four. After a game of golf with Shannon Grant, seven. After a threatening phone call from Dean Laidley, none, but our mouse hand was shaking something terrible. We need a drink.
3: Watts in a name?
IT'S BEEN a big week for the little tackers playing in the NAB under 18 championships. While much of the focus has been on the high-profile cartoon characters from the west, Sideshow Nick™ and Richie Rich™, Victorian Jack Watts, who sounds like he should be an extra in a pirate movie, took out the Larke Medal for player of the championships.
And, after all the hoo-haa, the gong for WA MVP went to the spellingly-challenged Clancee Pearce. Reallee. But our thoughts are with Vic Country's Jack Ziebell and WA's Matt de Boer. Odds were released yesterday on who will be picked at No.1 in the NAB AFL Draft. Sideshow Nick™ was favourite at $2 just ahead of Watts™ and Richie Rich™, with 'Any other player' at $51. Followed by Ziebell at $61 and de Boer at $81. So that should read, 'Any other player except Jack Ziebell and Matt de Boer'. A tad rough, we reckon.
4: Choco takes the biscuit
YOU'VE got to love Mark Williams. No, really, you do. The man who announced Dean Bailey's appointment as Melbourne coach, much to the consternation of just about everybody, has now lit a small incendiary device under Mark Harvey's swivel chair by suggesting the Power would welcome back prodigal son Josh Carr, who is struggling somewhat at Dockervilleland.
Harvey's response suggested that 'smart' clubs tried to pinch other team's players behind closed doors, rather than through the media. And Choco, of course, loves the media, especially us here at afl.com.au™. In his column this week he wrote about women in footy, and noted in passing that his PA's name is Brooke Acquaviva. If ever a name deserved a ™, it's that one.
What to look for on afl.com.au this Thursday.
Teams, of course
With everything back on track after the split round – except Barry Hall, Aaron Davey and Shannon Grant – we can look forward to reading the ins-and-outs for the 16 teams right here. Hoorah!
The yoof of today
Matt Burgan, afl.com.au's answer to Richie Benaud, Mark Nicholas and Stump-cam rolled into one, analyses the NAB under 18 titles.
Previews, too
Our happy breed of handsome, well-presented, perfumed football experts – plus Matt Burgan – have put on their thinking caps and come up with pithy, highly-analytical and grammatically correct previews for this week's matches.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL
