1: Wee Fev’s piddling indiscretion
Number one – how appropriate – belongs with Brendan Fevola, who has somehow found a way to turn spending a penny into handing over 10K. Fev’s early morning incontinence hasn’t only cost him a bucket – hmmm, a bucket, not a bad idea when on the town – but also seen him stripped of his duties on the Carlton leadership group. Which seems like a bonus to us. All those meetings!
But what really concerned us was the threat made by Blues CEO Greg Swann should Fevola fall off the wagon again: “We’ve also agreed with Brendan that if there are any more alcohol-related incidents, then that will result in him being terminated by the Carlton Football Club.” Terminated! Not sacked, dismissed, downsized, made redundant, fired, let go, or otherwise told he was no longer wanted. Death to Fev if he transgresses again! We think the AFLPA might need to take another look at the standard player contract.
2: Super Mac’s the bomb
Serial sports administrator Paul McNamee is now trying his hand at football, having already served and putted his way successfully through the tennis and golf ranks. We note in passing that McNamee is an Essendon supporter, joining a club that is now coached by a former Essendon player, who himself replaced a former Essendon player at the helm.
If Fremantle – whose ex-Bomber complement includes the coach, two of his assistants, the footy manager and three players – is West Essendon, that must make Melbourne, ummm, South-east Essendon. Or something. Kevin Sheedy’s insidious influence is everywhere.
3: Mitchell resigns. Sorry, re-signs
The premiership window – you know the one; it’s got a picture of Craig Willis with a come-hither look – is obviously open for the mighty Hawks, because skipper Sam Mitchell has signed on the dotted line for another two seasons.
He joins his buddy Buddy “Buddy” Franklin and the chief boot-studder as committed soldiers for the cause of making brown-and-gold fashionable again.
4: We’ll fight them on the beaches, etc
Coaches in this modern era suggest that fiery pre-match speeches don’t have much of an impact on players these days, who are probably too busy getting down to the hip grooves of Julie Anthony on their iPods or adding the latest Gummi Bear ringtone to their phones to listen anyway.
None of that washes with Eddie McGuire, who obviously misses his gee-up rhetoric around the Channel Nine board room table. McGuire treated the faithful at the Pies’ season launch to a fire-and-brimstone delivery that had us ready to pull on the black and white stripes and go for a quick sprint down Greville St in search of a bar window to marinate.
WHAT’S COMING UP
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Wednesday
Teams!
Yep, we’re just a day away from the first bounce of the Toyota AFL premiership season, and you’ll read the teams for Thursday here first.
The word from on high
You won’t be able to walk the streets of any Australian city on Wednesday without running into an AFL coach. We’ll hear pearls of wisdom from Mark Williams, Brett Ratten, Mick Malthouse, Mark Thompson, John Worsfold, Mark Harvey, Rodney Eade and Matthew Knights.
Burgology continues
Our resident footy lunatic Matt Burgan runs his tape measure over the inside-leg of two more teams – Richmond and St Kilda – to assess their flag-readiness. Prepare to weep, Tiger fans.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
