1: Roos rewrites history
AS WE sit on the very cusp of the greatest event in world sport, Tom Wills Round, it is encouraging to see that Sydney Swans coach Paul Roos is putting this weekend's clash with Fremantle in historical context.
Roosy noted that the Freo boys were "over here; they're excited; they're young". As a student of American history, he would also remember that during World War II, US soldiers stationed in Australia were considered to be – generally by Aussie blokes seeing their sheilas swept away by the lure of nylons and Marlboros –"overpaid, oversexed, and over here".
Roos obviously realises that, having divested themselves of oldies like Peter Bell, Heath Black and Shaun McManus, the youthful Freo team is all loved-up and ready to roll ... in a strictly football sense, of course. Although, if the Swanettes still existed, they'd be at some risk of being swept off their delicate feet.
2: Backwards, ho!
THEY'RE a backward team at Richmond. We have the stats to prove it. According to the pointy heads at Champion Data, who know these things, the Tigers have kicked backwards 234 times this season, second only to ... well, someone. (The pointy heads didn't tell us who was first in that disgraceful statistic, but were onto it.)
Add that to Joel Bowden, who holds the AFL record for stepping backwards through the goals in the final minutes of a clash between Richmond and Essendon, and you can see that the Tiges spend an inordinate time in reverse. And speaking of Bowden, he has come out and suggested that those who criticised his behind(s) are bums. The cheek!
3: Head out on the highway
DESPITE the rumour that Heath Shaw is heading up Highway One as we speak with the back of his ute filled with used tenners and Alan Didak to try to lure Jonathan Brown to Magpieland, Daniel Bradshaw reckons his mate will be remaining a Lion.
"I'm confident he's going to stay," said Bradshaw, going on to weaken his argument somewhat by pointing out that the Lions would lose a bit if the big fella went south. And then pointing out that returning to Victoria was a big lure for Vic-born players. And then pointing out that Brown would cope perfectly well with the increased media spotlight in Melbourne.
4: Relocation, relocation, relocation
THE THORNY issue of relocation – of clubs, rather than star players – is back in the news. North Melbourne is looking to play a 'home' game interstate next year to help recoup some of the money it has foregone by not becoming Far North Melbourne on the Gold Coast.
And Ron Barassi. Well, Barrass has come up with the radical plan for Melbourne to commit hara-kiri rather than nick off elsewhere. Death before dishonour, says the great man. How should a footy club die, we wondered.
The simple, yet touching, deflation of a Sherrin plastered with the team logo? The more theatrical implosion of the team's HQ, televised live on ESPN as another of its bizarre 'sports'? The appointment of Warwick Capper as CEO? It's something to ponder as we light 150 candles on the Aussie footy cake without burning ourselves.
What to look for on afl.com.au this Friday
The games
Well, one game. Forget the games of the XXIXth Olympiad. Pfft. You can watch the game of the CLth Australiad first. Right here on afl.com.au we'll bring you more Melbourne v Geelong content that you can handle.
Getting our kicks
We do what we're told here at afl.com.au. And so on Thursday – Kick Around Australia Day – we kicked around in the street near our sweatshop. Naturally it ended in tears. A couple of strained hammies, a few cheap handball-receives for The Four Points, a melee and one corked buttock – although we're not convinced that was footy related – and we were ready to return to work.
Then Ben Broad tried to recreate Matty Lloyd's speccie, failed spectacularly as he was viciously 'tunnelled' by video guru Phil Tascone, and was carted off to hospital in the Medibank Private golf cart. Dr Dream Team attended and diagnosed a dislocated shoulder. That's that, we figured.
But we underestimated young Broad, who stayed up all night with a Paddle Pop stick between his teeth, labouriously tapping out his Footy Forecast on a 1956 Remington typewriter, just so we could give it a quick online glance before moving onto something better, like ...
The doctor
Yes, exultant after correctly diagnosing Broad's injury – although his first guess was mad cow disease – the doctor of Dream Team has pulled out his speculum and poked it in all over the place to help out struggling DT finalists.
