NEVER let it be said that we don't uncover the plumpest, ripest news stories here on afl.com.au.
First, earlier this week, the news that Peter Street is a wannabe Mr Plod, and yesterday, the internet's own Matt Burgan learned that the Gold Coast team is still a chance to be named ... wait for it … the Fighting Mud Crabs.
Other names thrown into the hat, GC17 chairman John Witheriff revealed in this exclusive interview, include the Gold Coast Sharks, and Ibises. There's also the Albatrosses, which perhaps conjures an unfortunate impression for the AFL, and the Stingers – a nickname certain to strike fear into Daniel Kerr.
We've done a little research, and sadly it turns out that real live mud crabs aren't actually great fighters, which could be a fatal blow for the nickname's chance of actually making it onto merchandise. In fact, besides making rather a good appetiser, the crabs' most notable characteristics are that they breed a lot and are not averse to cannibalism. Make of that what you will.
2. The ya-ya brotherhood
MOST families have at least one member who delights in subjecting the others to footage of their latest fishing holiday/root canal/highlights of their playing days. In the McKernan family, it seems, that person is Corey.
Corey McKernan, 34, played 237 games for North Melbourne and Carlton before hanging up the boots in 2004. Now he's here to help much younger brother Shaun, who is turning heads as a ruckman for Vic Metro in this year's NAB AFL Under-18 Championships.
McKernan the younger, says AFL national talent manager Kevin Sheehan, is a spitting image of his older brother, who recently sat Shaun down to watch some of his old matches on DVD. We'd like to think that, in the spirit of annoying older relatives, Corey helped out by supplying live commentary, pointing out people in the background who look a bit like famous people, and pausing the disc every couple of minutes to explain why young footballers these days don't know they're born.
3. Mathletics
AH, THE sounds of winter. The slice of tram wheels through frost, the hawking and kvetching of your flu-ridden workmates, and the weekly debate over whether mathematically your club can still make the eight.
There are eight games to play, or nine, depending on how your split round falls, so it's an excellent time to look at exactly what lies ahead for your side. Yesterday we looked at Port Adelaide, which can mathematically still make the eight; the Western Bulldogs and Adelaide, which are both near certainties to make the eight; and Fremantle, which mathematically can only make the eight if you forget to carry the one and do something rather dubious with algebra.
Carlton, the Brisbane Lions, West Coast and North Melbourne are the next cabs off the rank this morning. Meanwhile, assistant coach Brian Royal says Richmond has its 88 collective eyes focused on the finals.
4. Scarlett's leg
ADELAIDE hosts Geelong at AAMI Stadium this Friday night, and if that wasn't enough to put the Crows off their split round pancakes, what about the news that All-Australian defender Matthew Scarlett is set to return?
Full-back Scarlett injured his hamstring in round 11, leaving the Cats so short in defence that they could only beat 2007 grand finalists Port Adelaide by 59 points the following week, and 2006 premiers West Coast by 135 points in their last outing.
Now the hammy's fine, Scarlett says in his exclusive column for gfc.com.au. What a relief that must be for long-suffering Cats fans.
WHAT’S COMING UP
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Thursday
The weigh-in
The Cats and the Crows square off ahead of Friday night's big match in Adelaide. We catch up with Mark Thompson before Geelong flies out, and Adelaide coach Neil Craig after training.
Previews
How the sides match up ahead of the two weekend games and who's going to win.
Teams
22 surnames per team, arranged thoughtfully by playing position. We'll be first with the lot from 5pm this afternoon.
Swan speak
The Sydney Swans have been as busy this week as a side with a blockbuster against Collingwood coming up on Saturday and thousands of seats at ANZ Stadium to fill. Today we check in as the side goes through its paces.
The run home
What would it take for the Blues to make the finals? How does the draw look for North, and the Lions? And what will West Coast want to get from the last eight games? Our intrepid reporters reveal all later this morning.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
