The Ghost
Boys versus men, of all the things the new age AFL competition delivers, this ….

and umpiring…

Shhh, don’t start on that, the readers will leave in droves

but the umpiring…

They know how you feel about the umpiring standards, leave well enough alone.

can’t I at least mention I just think its not on that certain umpires seem to need to be involved in the game for the sake of their own egos…

No you can’t.

can I just mention that when discussing umpires ego IS a dirty word?

No hush, now, rock yourself in a corner, and think about lillies or daffodil. So back on to the point for this week.

I hate the bloody umpires that…

Enough! We all do but it doesn’t make any difference, umpires are our sacred cows.

mooo…

Quiet.

bloody umpires…

One more word and I’ll cut off your nose to spite my face. Now where was I? Ahh yes, the thing I hate most about this New Age, softer, gentler, run free, as free as the birds, football we endure now is that the drafting system means we regularly dish up boy teams to face men teams.

I don’t like where this is headed.

Oh go have a round of golf will you.

is a boy team like a boy band?

At the moment we are a boy team. Brisbane is not. We have talent but it’s young and light and yet to solidify into a team of men. Brisbane are as solid as they come. To me it isn’t a fair contest. It took them about ten minutes to squash us with their muscle and a single quarter to end the contest then the game was played out as if it we were gentry shooting pheasants in a mild autumn evening. ‘Oh look at that, bang! bang!’ ‘Jolly good show Jonathon, but watch this one bang! bang! ‘ ‘oh very good young Brendan I must say.’

this has gone completely wacky…

Well you must feel at home then.

look whose talking…

We supporters must accept this. Our team is young, extremely young, especially where it counts most. Our rucks are kids, which is why Hampson was not played - why let his body get smashed by the opposition thug? Ratts confirmed this on the couch the other night. We must protect the boys from the men as best we can. You cannot expect to win every game when that is a priority and yet it must be.

We all want The Kruise or Hampson to be ten-year players for the mighty Bluebaggers. To achieve that we must be careful. And so with other players also. The club is compromised because it is a young list. It is compromised because the AFL demands we pick the talent as 17 year olds and then let them play against men and cope beltings week after week until they are men and the men have been replaced by boys and now they do the belting…

I didn’t follow that…

Shhh reread and be quiet.

but men become boys become men…

I am now officially ignoring you.

pity we can’t same the same about umpires…

 So, we played as well as we could given they were bigger, stronger, more experienced. But we are improving. That loss would have been a belting last year.

And that brings us to this week’s game again Freo. For some time now they has been another club whose older bodies have enjoyed belting the slight bodies of our kids. Not this week. No way. Where Brisbane are bigger and committed to the task, Freo have lost the plot. They thought the window was a door and all they needed to do was stroll through and claim the cup, but there are windows and then there are windows…

What????

I can’t hear you!

Sadly I can hear you, ‘there are windows and then there are windows’…

Just let me get on with it will you.

I would if you’d just make sense.

That’s never stopped you.

ohhh, is that cyber bullying? Coach, coach, he said nasty things about me…

Oh for love of Mary, please, just zip it.

there are zips and then there are zips…

ahhh

ahhh

Okay, (breathing deeply) where was I? Freo have tumbled, crumbled and bumbled through their games. We at least have discipline, we have a team that does play together. This week, our team of boys will beat their fractured mob of men. Apart from Pav they have no one.

Pav? The dancer or the dessert?

Neither Pav the footballer. A good one, though Thomas thinks he’s a tad selfish.

much like you.

Oh get a grip! Pav is good but he will not be enough to get them over the line. Sandilands is tall but if we play Hampson (hear that MC. Sandilands is not a Charman)

MCs, Chairmen?

MC is the Match Committee. And I said Charman, not chairmen, oh why do I bother?

beats me.

I’d love to.

huh?

Beat you.

sticks and stones…

Enough! Look, the Match Committee must pick Hampson and let him jump over the top of the beanpole. And if I had my way we’d play either Jacobs (elevation through injury permitting) or Aisake and let the Kruise play as our permanent tall option in the forward line. Give Fev some backup.

We are kids, lets accept the fact and smash this ageing, broken team of lost souls and heavy anchors with youthful energy,  with the team’s zest for life, for a chance to prove themselves. We will win, Fev will bag eleven and young Murph, the young lad with the old head

is he ugly?

No, no, that’s not what I meant?

has he been in an accident, or what, too much sunburn or something?

No, no I just meant he plays the game beyond his tender years.

tender, oh so he is sunburnt.

Oh why do I bother?

got me, I can understand neither hair nor head of any of this.

I know I sit with you each week. You haven’t got a clue.

you can talk.

Shut up will you. So this week, Fev for a bag and Murph for BOG.

Go Blues!
go blues!

Please Note: the views expressed in the above article are solely the opinion of the author and do not reflect the opinions of the Carlton Football Club or those employees of the Club. The Carlton Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of those supporters who contribute to carltonfc.com.au.