1: Go north, young men
IN HIS days as Victorian premier, Jeff Kennett was known as a benign and ever-constructive leader, always ready with a helpful hint and an encouraging word. It’s nice to see that nothing has changed, with Jeffrey, as Hawthorn president, gently suggesting to Melbourne that it might … well ... go on, bugger off to the Gold Coast.
Apart from the impact this would have on the funky GC17 marketing campaign with all those footy posts being whacked up on the Surfers Paradise beach, the hopes of 15-year-old potential draftees all over the country to spend their careers living in a nice apartment at Broadbeach, and the future of the Melbourne footy club, just think what spice this will add to Sunday’s clash at the MCG.
2: Dressing rooms and dressings down
IT’S A frightening prospect, a young footballer in a cold dressing room facing up to a quartet of senior players about to give him a few home truths. It happened to The Four Points in our early days, but in our case it involved having our y-fronts’ elastic snapped by a disappointed editor just before he applied the contents of a tube of Deep Heat to said underchunders.
Now poor David Wirrpanda has revealed he had to endure a dressing-room dressing down, aged just 18, at the hands of Chris Mainwaring, John Worsfold, Brett Heady and Dean Kemp. “They all got me in the room and pretty much told me what the expectations are and what they demand as a West Coast Eagles footballer,” Wirrpanda said. “They also gave me a shocking atomic wedgie,” he didn’t add.
3: Footy shows. Two of them.
THE FOUR Points has never been on the telly. Well, once, with our head covered by a blanket coming out of the County Court after the coppers fitted us up …but we digress. The Marngrook Footy Show, according to one of its stars, Ronnie Burns, provides a chance for indigenous players make their way in the media. That’s Ronnie Burns, the former Adelaide and Geelong forward, not the Ronnie Burns who sang Smiley back in 1969 and whose daughter Lauren won an Olympic gold medal … but we digress again.
Marngrook host Grant Hansen – that’s musician and community activist Grant Hansen, and not the Grant Hansen who is a New York designer who apparently helped bring the sweater vest back into fashion (as if it ever went out of fashion!) – noted, “We want our show to be a football show and not get carried away doing skits or knocking anybody.” To what could he possibly be referring?
4: Bomber in a heartbeat
HEARTBEAT is a new feature on afl.com.au hosted by Melbourne speedster Aaron Davey. In the first episode he talks to brother and Essendon even-more-speedster Alwyn. Yep, Aaron fesses up that Alwyn is the quicker of the Davey brothers, but gets his own back by making Alwyn admit that his nickname ‘Froggy’ came about because he was a fat baby.
Essendon’s Andrew Lovett is also a guest, and a wistful Aaron admits to some jealousy about the Bombers being able to play in the Dreamtime at the ’G match while he is stuck at Melbourne. But just to show how indigenous players look after each other, Lovett, rather than handing a transfer request form to Demon Davey all filled out for a move to Essendon, notes that Aaron gets to play for the oldest club in the land. Good job, Lovey.
What to look for on afl.com.au on Friday
A Dream job
That superstar of the stethoscope, Dr Dream Team, is back with his hastily scrawled and almost indecipherable prescriptions for keeping your DTs under control. Make two trades and have a good lie down, basically.
Fine, with a hint of precipitation
And our own Bureau of Meteorology-trained nerd Ben Broad checks out the isobars, hectopascals and gigahertz for his Footy Forecast.
