But Cooney? Until now, a good name for Bulldogs fans to call – Cooooon – when he gets the ball. Until now. Now, Cooney is a good name for a largely unexpected Brownlow Medallist.
For most of the count, which was clearly the most exciting in recent memory, it seemed that Brisbane Lions midfielder Simon Black would add the 2008 medal to his 2002 triumph. Ten rounds in, Black was on record-breaking pace with 20 votes, but the man himself was unconvinced that he would hold on to win.
Things got off to a confusing – and amusing – start when AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou somehow called the votes for round two before the round-one tally was announced. Let's hope that no one was running a book on the first vote-winner of the count, because Collingwood's Dane Swan was named as first out of the blocks when it really was Richmond's Nathan Foley who snared the first one-vote of 2008.
Early in the count Hawthorn's Brad Sewell was a surprisingly strong vote getter, sitting on 13 after eight rounds, keeping pace with Richmond's evergreen Matthew Richardson – who was clearly the sentimental favourite at the Crown Ballroom – and Cooney, and trailing only tearaway Black.
There were shocks. Adam Goodes, despite a general perception that he had an ordinary year, and ineligible because of suspension, was up with the leaders all night, while North's Brent Harvey, a solid second favourite, was nowhere to be seen.
And Gary Ablett. Well, he is the sort of bloke you would love to play poker with because he laid his emotions bare in an understated kind of way, wincing when votes didn't go his way, his face a see-through mask.
Ablett was always thereabouts in the count, but he never took the lead, and the three matches he missed after rolling his ankle early in round 15 would prove his undoing.
The audience was clearly hoping for a Richo win, and the man himself played up what tension there was, mugging to the cameras and indicating that he wouldn't get a vote in round 21 when he had surged to within one of the lead. He was spot on.
The predicted Jimmy Bartel run on a second successive Brownlow didn't eventuate, with the defending champ gaining only 10 votes. Emerging superstar Joel Selwood, momentarily, looked like the Cat most likely to come home over the rest of the field, but in the end maybe the Geelong players cruelled the pitch for each other.
St Kilda captain Nick Riewoldt, who was channelling Graham Teasdale circa 1977 in his black velvet dinner suit, failed to make any impact despite a stellar mid- to late-season, finishing with 12 votes.
Along with Goodes, the ineligible Buddy Franklin looked briefly as if he may have joined the short and sorry list of Brownlow 'winners' who were unable to take home the medal, but like Goodes, he couldn't quite catch the leaders.
Cooney's three votes in round 21 against Essendon got him over the line, and if anyone begrudged him his victory, they were won over by his easy, self-effacing charm in his interview with host Stephen Quartermain after the count.
After winning virtually everything last season it was probably a shock for Geelong not to head back down the highway with another Brownlow in someone's pocket, but for the Cats' players and their Hawks counterparts, there are bigger things at hand.
On the Geelong and Hawthorn tables, there was more H2O than alcohol to be seen. But by 5pm on Saturday, one group will have turned water into wine.
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
