MATTHEW Lloyd called Matthew Knights and warned him of the contents of his book Straight Shooter, in which he detailed the deterioration of the relationship between the players and coach, before it was launched this week.  

The former Essendon forward candidly spoke of his final year in detail, highlighting constant disagreement with Knights over his best position, how he felt the coach often believed he wasn't playing to his instructions, and how he became "very disenchanted" with his directions before round one of the 2009 season. 

He said Knights wasn't entirely supportive of the book's content but appreciated its factual theme. 

"I'm not sure if support is the right word, but it's inevitable I can write what I want to write but he understands that I'm going to be fair and reasonable," Lloyd said at the launch at Windy Hill on Thursday.

"Everything is a factual statement. It's not saying whether I liked his coaching or I liked his personality; it was all about my story and I think he was appreciative of that.

"I won't go into the conversation but I have let him know the book was coming out.

"A book can't be done without having him involved and it was a good discussion, but I won't go into exactly what was said.

"I think it was good for both of us to have a chat about it."

Lloyd revealed on Thursday he was mentally exhausted at the end of 2009 after 15 years of self-imposed pressure.

While he said his body could have played on, he was psychologically unable to continue, and that even the fast-tracking of premiership teammate James Hird into the senior coaching role wouldn't have changed that.

"Physically wasn't the issue; I still felt pretty good going for a run and playing, it was just the mental side," he said.

"I had a massive fear of failure, which I touched on, where from the first game to the 270th, I'd worry myself sick on whether I was going to play well, whether I could perform, how the rest of the team was going.

"You hear Dean Bailey talk about the rollercoaster of coaching; it was a rollercoaster for me as well, and it got to point where I wasn't enjoying that anymore."

Lloyd said his manager had told him there were opportunities to continue his career elsewhere after 2009, but as the father of a young family, he felt his priorities in life had changed.

He also said the experience of writing the book had been valuable and almost therapeutic after a career he largely failed to recognise as it occurred.

"It was a good process to do it a year after retiring because I'd moved on and I'm really happy with everything I'm doing, so I'm able to look at everything in the cool light of day," he said.

"I've got no animosity towards anyone.

"My dad had kept every article I was ever in so I actually looked over every scrapbook and it rejigged a lot of the memories, because I never once looked back, whether it was kicking 100 goals or winning the premiership, I never once thought, 'How good is this, how good is life?'

"I was thinking, 'I've got to do this again, I've got to do this next week, I've got to perform again next year'.

"I didn't enjoy a lot of my football career because I was so intense on wanting to perform, and I put so much pressure on myself.

"It's actually been an enjoyable experience."

The book also talks about the end of Kevin Sheedy's 27-year coaching career at Essendon, and how it became a distraction to the players once it was announced his contract wouldn't be renewed.

On Thursday, Lloyd admitted while it was hard to farewell the influential figurehead at the time, he had been ready for a new one. 

"I've been on the record that Sheeds has been great for my career; gave me games, played me in finals after four games … he had an unbelievable knack of getting me up after poor games," he said.

"But I was ready for a change after 13 years of listening to the same voice."

The book also details his retirement and how many people didn't agree with his decision, his journey into a media career, and his relationships with a number of his former teammates.

There is also a chapter dedicated to his controversial final game where he drew the wrath of Hawthorn players, coaches and supporters when he bumped Brad Sewell and forced him from the ground - an act he was later suspended for four weeks for.

At Thursday's launch, former teammate Scott Lucas - who was drafted in the same year, also retired at the end of 2009 and even played an equal number of games - said it was a "privilege to have the best seat in the house to admire Lloyd's skills over 15 years".