You know the type -- studious footybots who spend about as much time camped over their computer keyboard trying to manufacture the perfect Dream Team combination as W. Axel Rose has done trying to make the next Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy.
Axel has been at it the better part of fifteen years and there’s still no record. It’s safe to say genuine Chinese democracy is likely to come around before Gunners release an album of any sort.
And liberty will probably rein supreme in Tiananmen Square long before the average footy fan unravels the mystery that is the AFL game plan.
However, last week against Port Adelaide a rare opportunity presented itself. The veil was lifted on one of footy’s most utilised game plans: The Groundhog Day plan. Some say it was devised by droll comic genius Bill Murray who starred in the classic film of the same name.
Unfortunately, the impact of the Groundhog Day game plan doesn’t carry the same comic payload as Mr. Murray’s existential slapstick genius (though the way the Saints played at times one could be forgiven for thinking their performance was a homage of sorts to the last king of comedy).
The Groundhog Day plan consists of going to AAMI Stadium and letting a Port team - any Port team - get the four points at our expense. The last time St Kilda beat the wharfies at that ground was in round 22, 1997. Remember that? Yes, it officially qualifies as the good ol’ days.
Ever since then we’ve turned up there periodically and taken our medicine. And so we did once again. Just like in Groundhog Day, the alarm goes off and nothing ever changes.
Let’s hope Ross Lyon sticks to the Groundhog Day principal for at least one more week because this time it should work in our favour. The last time Richmond took the points against St.Kilda was round 4, 2003.
In the nine games since we’ve managed to tame the Tigers, and with the ledger sitting at 3-3 so far this season, we need a win almost as badly Gordon Ramsay needs a swearing jar.
The most recent game between the Saints and Tigers was supposed to be the last time for the G Train. He’s made a comeback but no one’s quite sure if he’s back on track or whether he’s gone on one station too far. Here’s our chance to find out.
Groundhog Day theory tells me Fraser Gehrig has kicked 38 goals in his last eight games against the Tigers. Put the big caboose back in the freight yard in front of the sticks, let him rev his engine and see if he can get those wheels spinning again. It just might be the spark the team needs to kick its season back into life.
Either that or a good laugh at any number of Bill Murray classics to get them feeling good again might be the trick. Except Groundhog Day, of course. We’ve already seen that one way too many times.
