It was, nonetheless, a game full of hideous garden creatures. The Crows moved like slugs, and the umpires had the aura of something even more unpleasant.
Rarely have the men in slime-green been so on the nose: at half time the free-kick count was 3 to 16 in Hawthorn’s favour; a slight readjustment in the second half did little to cure my distaste. Some of the frees that Hawthorn won were correct but quite a few weren’t. More glaring, though, were those that weren’t given to the Crows, such as the blatant throws by Lewis, or the push-in-the-back to Henderson. It was almost enough to make me reach for the pesticide.
While it is therapeutic to complain, however, the Crows did not lose because of the umpiring. After the game, commentators burbled about the last-quarter fade-out, but in my view the first three quarters were almost equally unimpressive.
Few Crows’ players would have been proud of the way they played. In his first game back, Symes found the ball often but rarely used it well. Johncock played his worst game for the year, by far, the Porp seemed to lose his way and Walker was uninvolved. Big Kurt grabbed nearly everything sent to him but missed goals he should have bagged.
Youngsters like Sloane, Armstrong and Henderson were as good as any and better than most. We might need to get excited about Hendo soon - he’s tall and quick, he can take a grab and he goes in hard.
But mostly the Crows looked lazy, unable or unprepared to win the hard ball in the way they did so well the week before. It was carnage at the stoppages - the Crows’ rucks were beaten in the air, but they were better than the midfielders, who were mown down on the ground. They continually misread the ball: if it went right, they went left, if it went back, they went forward. The Hawks read the ball much better: Hodge passed through a dozen stoppages as easily as a pitchfork through a pile of manure.
The zone didn’t work, either. In the first half in particular the Hawks continually worked their way up the field with prissy little 15-metre kicks that threaded the zone; it was twee but effective.
All in all it was a lacklustre game. The garden would have been a better prospect, lifeless though it is at this time of year. The Crows were lifeless, too, unable to match the intensity they showed last week.
This was one for the compost heap. Bring on the spring.
