SO WE may have to do it the hard way now without the luxury of the double chance, but before you think about calling in to work sick citing football-related stress, consider this. And stop your sobbing. It’s not a good look.

By my way of thinking there are two ways of handling the situation that confronts us – the extended family of the Adelaide Crows.

You can either wallow in a pit of despair and self-loathing the size of Football Park or you can treat what lies ahead as a challenge.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m going with the second one.

I was born with bucket loads of the old ‘glass half full’ approach to life and it’s been serving me well for the best part of four decades, especially at dinner time. “Can you top up my glass darling?” Glug, glug, glug. “Thanks.” (The glugging was the pouring of the wine, not me drinking it by the way.)

I know what you’re thinking and I agree it’s not ideal to begin a finals campaign from outside the top four but does anything in life worth striving for come without its own struggle? Think about Martin Luther King or Nelson Mandela. The struggle is what makes the end result a whole lot sweeter.

Furthermore there are dangers that come with being handed what you want laces out on the chest.

Look at the Western Bulldogs. They’ve known since about mid-2002 that they’ll finish the regular season in either second or third place on the ladder and that warm and fuzzy feeling has hardly helped them in the run home to the finals.

Call it complacency. Call it flirting with form. Call it whatever you want. It’s a curse and we don’t want any part of it.

Are you buying any of this? No. I didn’t think so. Neither am I.

Let’s deal with what we know is true. To secure the double chance the Crows must beat the Bulldogs in round 22.

North Melbourne has to lose to Port at the MCG and for the sake of simplicity let’s just say Collingwood has to lose too.

There are more layers to the equation but I can’t be bothered explaining them this late at night. In short, destiny is no longer in our own hands and for someone who likes to be in control that’s a little uncomfortable.

Good luck to the Crows on Saturday and good luck to - (where are these four letters on the keyboard?) - P-O-R-T as well.

“Can I have a top up please?” My glass is looking a little empty.