Round 1 score: 2035
League result: through in NAB Cup
A team full of Gumbies
Last year my girlfriend coached a school netball team who adopted the name “the Gumbies”. They did this because they were slow, unco and the ball kept flying through their hands.
There’s nothing worse than sitting down half through round one and discovering that your Dream Team is FULL of Gumbies. And not just any old Gumbies. THE Gumby. Scott Gumbleton. 17 points. Thanks for playing.
Fortunately for the netballing Gumbies, they got their act together over the course of the year and transformed themselves into a lean, mean, stats-scoring machine. I can only hope the same happens to Scott. After all, he went number two in the draft, and that’s got to count for something.
Raining tons
Scott Gumbleton wasn’t the only player stanking up the place for the Mayors in round one. Tippett was quiet, Clark had a cold, and Hunt copped all sorts of rhyming abuse.
Sure, we still cobbled together 2000, but who didn’t get 2000 this round? Players were bringing up centuries all over the place; raising their bats, saluting the crowd, and dedicating it all to dumping Lara Bingle. It was like Australia batting first against Canada at Manuka Oval, with popular picks Hodge, Bartel, Ablett, Swan, Brown, Betts, Kennelly, Malceski, Shaw, Riewoldt, O’Keefe and, of course, Michael Barlow, all going nuts and tonking it out of the park.
Luckily for the Mayors, we had a fair few of these players too and managed to scrape through in the all important NAB Cup.
Doing it for the NAB
The first three rounds of the AFL season don’t count for Dream Team leagues and that’s why Stanger and the Mayor's league - the CFL - plays a NAB Cup. It works like this: the top eight scoring teams get through the first round, the top four of those go to round two, and whichever team scores the highest out of these in round three takes home the bikkies.
It’s fun, it gives you a rough idea of how you’re travelling, and no one really gives a toss.
Follow the Mayor on Twitter: @MayorDT
STANGER
Round 1 score: 2136
League result: Through in NAB Cup
Remember how Grant Thomas wouldn’t let his players smile after they won the NAB Cup in 2004? That’s how we regard the pre-season competition (explained above) at the Maribyrnong Mustangs. The CFL’s NAB Cup is a meaningless competition, dreamed up by the Mayor as an excuse for picking up extra silverware. And as silverware goes, it’s not even silver. The trophy is a dull bronze, chosen by the Mayor and myself for its total unattractiveness. Rounds one to three are purely pre-season. Edmundo has won a NAB Cup. Enough said.
We have, however, just endured the most important Dream Team week of the year. The selection of the initial squad is the key to a good season. At the end of a monstrously high-scoring opening round, I’m unsure how well I’ve gone. Last year, our season disintegrated when we pinned our hopes to the Big Bra ? Double D, Bradd Dalziell. Within weeks he was injured and then later could not force his way back into the Lions’ side. I swore to never again invest big dollars in second year guns. Roll forward to jumper presentation night 2010 and Liam Anthony, Greg Broughton and Sam Gilbert are all Stangers. I also said after last year’s Richo and Hentschel debacle that I wouldn’t select injury prone players. A big welcome to the Hammy Twins, Bob Murphy and Shaun Higgins, as well as Mitch Clark, Andrejs Everitt, Scott Gumbleton and Beau Waters. We are slow learners down at Maribyrnong.
Nevertheless, it’s been a sprightly opening. As I type, the rampaging rookie Michael Barlow has just inked the last letters of his name on what appears to be his own bloody pill, and our score has clicked over 2000. In the era of the possession game, an opening round 2000 is not what it once was. In fact I look forward to sitting on my rocking chair in the year 2065 telling the Mayor that ‘an opening round 2500 isn’t what it once was’. We plan to grow old with Dream Team and the CFL.
I won’t trade this week. It’s not that we don’t have cracks ? Relton, Gumby, Ball and two of our three Mitches all have us worried. But never trading in week one is a team rule, like no U-turns. Now it’s just a matter of sitting back, trying to relax and writing letters to the coaches in a bid to influence team selection.
As for my own team selection ? five midfield rookies? Yay (Barlow, Trengove, Martin, Shuey, Banner). Captain Gary? Yay. Forward rookies? Nay (we bat down to Ziebell) Big Bad Bustling? Nay. Actually that should be a much more horsey ‘neiiighhh!’ Go Mustangs!
Follow Stanger on Twitter: @StangerDT
The views expressed in this article are those of the authors and not necessarily of the AFL
