Life is slowly returning to normal for
Well, it was four weeks ago today that I went under the knife, and while my progress has been slow and steady, I'm moving forward and life is becoming a little more normal every day.
I last saw the specialist a week ago and he was really happy with the way I'm going and said I looked great, my mobility was great and everything was going to plan so that's a real positive. Even though I haven’t started physio yet and haven’t been doing any exercise as such, I'm not at all stiff or sore. I think that's because I had the condition for a while before the surgery and I'd forgotten what it's like to be free again. I need to keep resting for a while yet and I start physio in a couple of weeks.
I was given the all-clear to drive last Friday and it's made a huge difference. It's one of so many little things that I'd taken for granted that I now look on in a different light. Before Friday I couldn’t even travel in a car so I pretty much stayed at home. I caught the train into training a couple of times and that was pretty funny because I had some cheeky school kids hanging it on me asking, 'What are you up to?'
I've been able to get down to the club four times now and it's been good to be back and see the boys and just hang around. I've been trying to keep a low profile but happened to bump into a few media types as I was arriving last Friday, they were just leaving after watching training. And there was a promotion at the club on Wednesday for the Interchange Program that I'm an ambassador for. People donate their time to look after kids with disabilities and I'm a host parent as part of the scheme. I have a little Down Syndrome boy named Nicholas that I look after and it's a great program. I've been involved for just over a year now and Nicholas and I have fun just hanging out. We get together every month but we haven't been able to catch up because of what's happened, but I'm looking forward to seeing him over the next couple of weeks.
Coming back to the club has been exciting. There's the place itself, but it's more about my mates, just getting out and having fun. That's probably been the hardest aspect about watching on the weekends - not being part of it. I get very anxious when I watch the boys train and play and it gets worse on game day. I get a bit moody on match day and I can feel the frustration building up. The
I know it's often said by many players in my position that the game looks so different from the stands, but it’s true. I find myself thinking, 'I wouldn’t have done that', or 'Why didn't he see that coming?' You have to remind yourself that all those moves are so much easier to spot from up in the grandstand than out on the ground.
I've always thought that being able to pick up trends on the ground fairly quickly has been a strength of mine, but last Saturday it was hard work. I have to admit I struggled at times to keep tabs on what was happening. I don’t know if it's because I tried to take in too much, but it's going to be interesting in the box to see what gets picked up, how it's communicated and how plans are put into affect in different areas. I've said to Denis that I want to help the young guys through the midfield because that's where I'm best suited.
The boys have been kept up to date with what's been going on and they've all come to see me to lend their support. A lot of them have said, 'You don’t know how much we're missing you', and that's nice to hear but they've got to get on with it, do their best and start winning.
I haven't been following the newspapers or television too closely over the past few weeks or reading match reports or analysis because it reminds me too much about what I'm missing out on and just makes me more frustrated. But I got a few text messages from friends last Saturday telling me about Mike Sheahan's article in the Herald Sun about my importance to the team and how I should take it as a compliment. I finally got around to having a look at it on Sunday and it was an interesting read, I suppose, but I don't believe that one person means all that much.
The boys have played some great footy lately and they've been very unlucky. It's probably our youth and inexperience that's cost us at critical moments over the past few weeks. We haven’t got as many senior players as other sides, that's what we've lacked and I'm one of those senior players. Rather than rely on the media I prefer to talk to the players one-on-one and get their feedback on how they think they've been going - speaking to 'Murph' and Heath
It's been tough for Denis over the past few weeks - he's copped it more than anyone. I think everyone would agree that if we have our best side out there we're very competitive. If we have injuries to the wrong people it's going to hurt us and he's always going to be the whipping boy in the media which is unfair. He's been through some hard times. We’re a million miles more advanced than where we were three years ago, but our win-loss ratio hasn't reflected that. We need to win. At the end of the day, we need to win for everyone at the club - for Denis, the boys, the supporters but especially the boys. They've gone through hell, in fact the whole club's gone through hell and we need to get out quickly through to the other side - and I'm sure we’ll do it. The next two or three years are going to be so exciting around this place as we step up to be premiership contenders. I can't wait for that.
Brett Montgomery's decision to retire has naturally prompted me to reflect on the decisions I've made about my own future. I don't know the precise details about Monty's condition but his personal circumstances are quite different from mine. He was nearing the end of his career with a family to provide for. If I was in his place, I would probably have made the same decision because his quality of life is what's most important now. He's been there and done that and achieved heaps as an All-Australian and premiership player and, from that perspective, taking a step towards the second part of his life is a natural progression. It's never easy and he will feel cheated for sure, but there's no doubt he's done the right thing. I've still got so much I want to achieve in football and I'm still only 27. I reckon I've got five or six good years left in me.
I'm a positive person and I'm really positive all the time. I have a chance now to freshen right up and get super fit and really turn it into a positive over the second half of the year. I'm surprised by the number of people who tell me how well I look and how I don’t look like someone who's just undergone spinal surgery. I think the big test will come in a few weeks' time when I'm able to start running and in five weeks time when I expect to be back training with the group. Although I can't have contact, I know I'll be feeling that I'm right to go and I'll want to play. That's going to be the next big challenge.
