1. Coming soon, maybe, to a theatre near you
While the Swans have accepted their $50,000 fine for fielding an extra player in Sunday’s controversial draw, North Melbourne president James Brayshaw isn’t letting the matter drop just yet, calling for all four points in an obvious shout-out to this column. Represent!

Much of yesterday’s intrigue centred around who, in fact, was the 19th man. Was it Darren Jolly, whose handball played its part in the passage of play that led to Brett ‘Captain’ Kirk’s match-tying behind? Was it, as North coach Dean Laidley pondered, Kieren Jack or Lewis Roberts-Thomson, both involved in an interchange around the same time?

It’s all so beautifully tangled that we propose a film: The 19th Man. It could star Joseph Cotton as young Swan Jesse White, Italian beauty Alida Valli as Jack, and Orson Welles as Jolly – the man who wasn’t there. Climactic scene features AFL football operations manager Adrian Anderson, a ferris wheel and $50,000 in cash.

Granted, on reflection it’s probably not going to sell well with the multiplexes. And Orson Welles is dead. But what if we get Cate Blanchett in there, perhaps playing Swans CEO Myles Baron-Hay? Everyone loves Cate Blanchett.

2. The job of your dream (team)
COACHING a Dream Team culled from every state and territory but one isn’t as easy as it sounds, says afl.com.au columnist Mark ‘Choco’ Williams. Actually Choco, it doesn’t sound easy at all. In fact to us, it sounds like what cast members of The Bill might call a bleeding nightmare.

Imagine having to work out what time it is in Perth when Luke McPharlin is getting up, and how late is too late to call Matthew Leuenberger on a weekday night in Brisbane. If it was us, we wouldn’t have lasted the first week after daylight saving.

Happily, the other day Williams received in the post a parcel with 40 magnets. Which should have the dual advantage of helping the father-of-five organise the Dream Team, and keeping his shopping lists stuck on the fridge.

3. Twins’ set
THE FOUR Points’ doesn’t have a twin, unless you count our uncanny resemblance to lady-killer George Clooney. But we do have a brother, a science-type who tends to drop things into conversation like ‘They’ve named the black hole I discovered the other day’. So we feel we have a certain understanding for those who consider success a family matter.

So it is with Shane Wakelin, who will toast his 239th game when the Pies play Hawthorn on Saturday. While that’s usually a figure significant only for folk like our brother who really, really like prime numbers, for Wakelin it marks a cumulative 500th game for him and identical twin Darryl. Excitingly, only nine sets of brothers have reached this milestone before, putting Mr and Mrs Wakelin’s little takkers in company so elite it would only take up half the seats in a bus.

Darryl hung up his Port Adelaide guernsey last year, but we like to think wherever he is at 2.10pm on Saturday, he’ll have the uncanny sensation of running through a banner and then skipping around and clapping for a bit.

4. The greatest show between wing and centre half-forward on earth
TIME was, you could set your watch by Tasmanian and Dream Team star Matthew Richardson lining up in the goal square, missing a set shot from 30 metres, sinking a couple from 50, then spending the rest of the day leading like a maniac and berating his teammates for failing to kick to him.

Now you can only depend on two of those things – three at most. Since the Tigers kicked their season into gear against Fremantle two weeks ago, Terry Wallace has been shifting Richo around the ground like a kind of 104kg carnival, minus the teacup ride and the toothless man at the ticket booth. Happily, it’s been playing dividends, so much so that the Saints say the big man is one of their biggest concerns ahead of Saturday night’s big match at Telstra Dome.

Coach Ross Lyon says he doesn’t think his side will be able to stop Richo’s attack, "but you might be able to attack through him a little bit". We have no idea what this means but, like everything involving Richo, it’s almost certain to be entertaining.

WHAT’S COMING UP
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Wednesday

Interchange gategate: the wash-up
Comment from the AFL as the Swans and North Melbourne digest yesterday’s findings

Ratts, Choco, Harvs and Woosha
Four coaches badly in need of a weekend win front the press today

Maxy talks player psychology
Collingwood star and afl.com.au columnist Nick Maxwell wheels out his old phrenology textbook for an in-depth look at what makes players tick. He may or may not discuss the bumps on skipper Scott Burns’ head.

Junior Days
As Community Football Weekend bears down like a particularly heartwarming freight train, we bring you more tales of life in oversized guernseys from the game’s current stars

Hudnesday
It’s Wednesday, it’s Huddo, it’s Wednesday, it’s Huddo. Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, Huddo, Huddo, Huddo. Woot! (Sure, it’s no ‘Ice Ice Baby’)

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.