1: Moral lessons. Teaching of.
HELLO and welcome to Bad Boy Day. We'll give you a little bit of Heath Shaw and Alan Didak, a tidy whack of Barry Hall, a flea-bite of Jeff Farmer, and as icing on the cake, a soupcon of Ben Cousins.
First we're off to Magpieland where things have gone the shape of a pear slightly damaged after running into two parked cars while apparently trying to dodge a furry marsupial. Heath Shaw and Alan Didak are in enough poo without us making tasteless and not terribly witty comments, so we'll say only this about Possumgate. Shane Wakelin. Public transport. Good idea.
PS: We just looked up the word didactic in the dictionary, and one of the definitions is "teaching or intending to teach a moral lesson". Hmmm.
2: Big? Yes. Bustling? Uh-huh. Bad? Nope.
GET OFF Still Big, Not Very Bad, Quite Bustling Barry Hall's strong and powerful back. That's the word from Swans coach Paul Roos, who was a tad cheesed off at suggestions that Bazza might face the music over an incident involving Bulldog Lindsay Gilbee and falling down.
Boo, says Roosy. Hiss. Leave the man alone. All this stuff about Hall and horizontal opposition players is getting "tedious and boring"; it's "laughable" and "farcical", says the coach. And the Match Review Panel agreed, saying that Baz gave Gilbee's shoulder a push with an open hand. Ouch.
3: Jeff Farmer's new contract
The Wiz is out for a match after accepting the Match Review Panel's one-week sanction for giving Mark Nicoski a love-tap in the Western Durrby. In the arcane world of AFL penalties it was assessed as reckless contact, deep impact and life threatening. Or something like that. After adding some points for his bad record, having a cup of tea, filling out their Tattslotto forms and taking away the number they first thought of, the Match Review Panel gave him a week's rest.
Fortunately for Farmer, Michael Johnson has offered him a new two-year contract at Fremantle, pointing out that the Wiz is a respected leader to the indigenous players at the club. Expect the new contract to be assessed as medium income, high anxiety, low expectations.
4: Fashion statement
AND BEN Cousins is looking trim, taut and terrific in another low-cut, off-the-shoulder number. But this time, thankfully, it's Benny in a training singlet for the mighty Perth Demons in the WAFL, not in a terribly fashionable but horribly ugly dirt-coloured collarless shirt on some television current affairs show.
It felt 'normal' to be back on the track, said Cousins, for whom normality has been a fairly rare concept in recent years. Apparently he ducked and weaved impressively during the 50-minute session, and didn't even do what he normally does – a hamstring.
What to look for this Tuesday on afl.com.au
Magpie woes
The fates of Heath Shaw and Alan Didak – and maybe even the possum – will be revealed at a mournful Collingwood press conference later today.
The big one
Only three days to the launch of the greatest sporting extravaganza on earth; the event that gets everyone's pants dancing with excitement; the occasion that will be the focus of the world's rapt attention. Yep, keep your mouse poised here for all the news on Tom Wills Round.
Pretty as a picture
Jimmy Bartel, Russell Robertson and Daniel Giansiracusa are photogenic young chaps, so who better to help launch a photographic exhibition celebrating 150 years of Australian football? Huh? Who?
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL
