Dear Brad and Chris

If you aren’t already sick of being asked about each other (by the media and general public), prepare your straitjackets now. Even savvy, controlled gentlemen like yourselves could be forgiven for being driven to madness by the questions about your relationship that will inevitably become part of your daily existence.

Of course, you have dealt with such issues and frustration all your lives, being constantly compared to one another yet often lumped together as though you are one entity (known as the AFL’s version of the Kray brothers, the late British underworld figures.)

But this will be different: it will be incessant, monotonous and more public due to your regular media commitments, which might set the scene for some interesting exchanges between you and your interrogators as you try to move on from the broken-record subject.

It’s easy to imagine some tense moments at press conferences as you negotiate the serious to the ridiculous. For example:

REPORTER: Brad, how do you feel Chris has settled in to AFL coaching?
BRAD SCOTT: He seems to be going well, as I expected he would.
REPORTER: Do you bounce ideas off each other?
BRAD: We speak about football in general but nothing specific about how to beat certain teams… Is this relevant? We don’t play Geelong for a month.
REPORTER: As players, you and Chris had a similar, hard-nosed approach; do you have similar coaching philosophies?
BRAD: In some ways, no doubt… Look, I’d really prefer to talk about this week’s game.
REPORTER (A more-front-than-Myer 17-year-old who has snuck into the ‘presser’): Do you guys share a sixth sense, like some twins do, where you’ll know exactly what the other is thinking in the coach’s box and have a counter for every move? Should we expect the AFL’s first nil-all draw?
BRAD: (Not amused) Very funny.
REPORTER (The same kid) And have you two discussed the possibility of punking everyone by swapping jobs without anyone knowing?
BRAD: (Sighs) No, we haven’t. Nor do I ever expect to. (Mumbles something inaudible).

Then there will be the creative headlines presumably spruiking sentiments like ‘Brothers Up In Arms’, ‘The Great Scott Rivalry’ and ‘Brothers Grim’.

You guys have shown you don’t suffer fools, but you also seem to have thick skins, which is just as well because you’ll need elephant hides to survive this constant barrage. But you’re both big enough and ugly enough (in the figurative sense, not literally - I promise!) to brush it all off and maintain your dignity. By the way, the odd Scott cold stare might do the trick to deter seemingly intrepid journos who well recall the way you psyched out opponents on the field.

You just have to accept the fact that, for the short term at least, barely a press conference will pass without you being asked to comment about your brother.

Deep down even you would have to appreciate the fascination, particularly from a historical perspective. After all, as you may be aware, you will become the first twins to coach AFL clubs, and just the third brothers to coach against each other, behind Norm Smith (Melbourne) and Len Smith (Fitzroy) in the 1950s and ’60s and Bob Rose (Footscray) and Kevin Rose (Fitzroy) in 1975.

As if that wasn’t enough justification for the interest, you are also the youngest coaches in the competition. So you’d better get used to it fellas.

The fascination will only intensify closer to your first clash in the NAB Cup at Etihad Stadium on February 20, and even more so when your teams meet in round 14 at Skilled Stadium.

You have vowed not to speak to each other in the days leading up to these games, and nobody would question that because you have always done everything possible to help your teams.

But that won’t stop reporters from interviewing anyone who has ever known the pair of you, from the canteen lady at your primary school to the first, still-traumatised, junior footy opponents you threw around like rag dolls. And, of course, expect the analysis from our in-house expert, and your revered premiership coach, Leigh Matthews.

Living in the same state once again, it’s inevitable you will be confused for one another more than usual, particularly around Melbourne. Admittedly, I made the same mistake myself once. But I survived to tell the tale.

At the end of 2009, I was in a furniture store at Southbank when I saw Brad checking out a trendy leather couch. Brad had just been appointed coach of North Melbourne so I logically figured his new contract had prompted him to spruce up his city apartment.

I’d interviewed Brad in person just weeks earlier, so I approached him quite casually, only to be corrected politely, that the Brad I had greeted warmly was actually Chris, then an assistant coach with the Fremantle Dockers.

Not to be deterred, and sensing a scoop, I asked Chris if he was planning a return to Melbourne in the off-season. No, he said with a smile; he was only helping a mate.

Stymied again, I decided to quit while I was well behind. But even then, as I slunk away with mild embarrassment, I was impressed with the polite, patient manner in which Chris handled a situation that would grate on others.

It’s this very patience that will be sorely tested in coming weeks, months, and years.

The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL