On one hand, you’ve got people who want to win the cars or simply boast about their rankings – the type of people who begin dating ads with ‘My name’s Matt. I’m 6’1, in shape, and went top 500 four years running.’
On the other side of the ledger, you’ve got coaches who prefer their competition one-on-one; who live for the kind of bare-knuckle, no-holds-barred, mano-a-mano slugfests that only league competition can bring.
For these players, accumulating points is a means rather than an end – a way to achieve victory, rather than a victory in itself. A perfect season for a hardcore leaguer has nothing to do with overall rankings. Instead, it might involve flying under the radar, slowly and discreetly squirreling away $700,000, and then tossing it all onto the field in round 19, before declaring “surprise, surprise, Lenny’s Legends – suck on this!’
Needless to say, that’s the type of coach I am.
Leaguers – the Dream Team purists
Sure, the Mayors derive some satisfaction from knowing that they’re ranked in the top 0.4 per cent overall, but none if this really matters if we get our arses handed to us by our rivals. There are some teams we simply have to beat, no matter what the cost in trades, cash or long-term viability.
Last year, for example, I brought in Gary Ablett at the peak of his price range just to beat a team called Edmundo. He came in, scored 147 as captain, won me the match by 50 points, then rolled his ankle and didn’t get another hundred for six weeks. He was worth every cent.
Considerations like this make the league game harder and more complex than the points game. If you’re just playing for points, you focus on the long-term and follow some simple rules – don’t trade out the injured if you can cover them; never sideways trade; milk your cash cows til they’re dry and then axe them, etc.
But if you care about league and need some wins to make the eight, all that stuff goes out the window. Passengers cannot be carried, the injured must be left behind, and every resource at your disposal must be channelled into sticking it to your mates.
Biffo in the box
Not only is the league game more complex than the points one, it’s also more fun. For starters, you’ve got the coach’s box.
Depending on your league, the coach’s box can be a noisy place or a quiet one. In the league I play in, there’s a hell of a lot of chirp.
People who post messages in the box tend to fall into two main categories: those that brag and those that mozz. Braggers tell you how they’re going to beat you – how they’re going to tear off your arms, rip off your legs, and smash you in the face with Jimmy Bartel.
Mozzers, on the other hand, tell you how they can’t beat you – how they’re ravaged by injury, how their premiums are under performing, and how it’s statistically, scientifically and mathematically impossible for them to get up. Then they sit back, make a couple of trades, and roll you by 10 points.
My league is full of mozzers and I’m one of the worst.
This week’s question
I know that there are a lot of people out there who take their leagues as seriously as I do. This week, I want you to complete this sentence – ‘I knew I was a hardcore leaguer when…’
Send it to dreamteam@afl.com.au, making sure to put ‘Hindy’ in the subject line. I’ll run the best answers in next week’s column.
Thanks for all your responses to last week’s question: ‘I knew Dream Team was affecting the way I watch football when…?’
It’s amazing how many people said they knew when they started to barrack for Carlton and/or Collingwood players. As a Pies fan, I can only quote Kamahl – “Why are people so unkind?”
Aaron Nicolls knew when he developed finger cramps from hitting refresh on live scores.
Hamish Thompson knew when he started referring to kicks out on the full as “phantoms” (as they get 3, lose 3, and then aren’t there at all).
Luke Wade also mentioned that Dream Team is even affecting they way people play football, with players in his local WA competition running round and telling people how many Dream Team points they’re racking up. Now that’s funny.
Cheers,
Hindy
CEO and coach of the Hindsight Mayors
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
