Yet another injury to one of our guns has me bemoaning several facts, and has led to me inventing a sure-fire way for us to conquer football's Everest.
What I'm bemoaning is the fact that for two years we haven't had a single Rising Star nomination, or recruited a single quick young player. I realise that, after years of sterling service, several of Harvey, Peckett, Powell, and Thompson, won't be around next year. Also, we'll have to say goodbye to several others who have flattered to deceive, and also a couple who have hardly played at all.
Monty and Grammy deliver the pacey goods, God(dard) has arrived, and our defence has improved out of sight. The forward line is usually dangerous, but whoever taught Nick his ridiculous "left hand lower on the ball than the right when taking a set shot" routine has to be either a total football illiterate, or an opposition spy. Whenever he has to kick in a split second or on the run he's as good as there is, and his left foot is terrific. Missing those important shots are always going to kill us, so let's get him straight to Centre Half Back - at least till his set shot kicking action is back to what is was when he started, and the Goose is back.
The Weagles showed us that pace and kicking skills are a must now. Bring back Troy Schwarze - a beautiful exponent of the long, accurate, kick, by all means, but the pace problem can only be solved in one, highly unorthodox way - which leads me to my (secret) invention.
Now, it MUST REMAIN a secret, for it to work. It's outrageous, but it's a foolproof way of getting the quickest and best youngsters into our side next year. So DON'T LET THIS MISSIVE STRAY FROM SAINTER EARS!
THE PLAN: Five minutes before the bounce to start the last game at the Gabba, our legendary old trainer Kenny Whiffen should be ordered to strip and put his Sainter gear on. He should be a late inclusion, and stay on the bench till the last minute, when he runs onto the ground. After the game, we are stripped of all our season's points for playing an unregistered player, and therefore get a concession pick, as well as pick number one in this year's draft. With those picks, we take the toughest, quickest young midfielders in Australia, and within two years the flag will be ours.
Come on Sainters - it's foolproof. Have we got the guts to do it? I believe we have. Our injury run has been surreal and unfair. It's poetic justice, and must be carried out.
Cheyenne Autumn
