Never mind that he got the Kangaroos into the finals three times in the last six years. Never mind his coaching smarts, tactical acumen, and the fact that he got the best out of a less than stellar list. All Dream Team fans really care about is how little he played rookies.
What about Lachie Hansen, who played the first two games of 2007 and then was marooned for the rest of the season? What about Scott ‘Dream Team’ Thompson, a popular choice in 2008, who seemed to come in and out of the team at random intervals?
Didn’t he get how the pricing system worked? Didn’t he realise that rookies need a good run of consecutive games? Wasn’t there SOMEONE on the coaching panel putting our interests ahead of his?
“Dean, I really think Scotty deserves another shot. I mean, the kid’s stuck on a hundred grand and needs one more match for his three-game rolling average!”
But no, Laidley had to be selfish about it. He had to coach for North Melbourne. For this, and other sins, he was dubbed “the Dream Team Antichrist” and quietly resented across Australia.
Even when Dean changed his ways and played rookies galore in 2009, people never quite forgave him. Dream Team fans can be a cruel and vindictive lot and have memories like elephants – especially when it comes to players.
Numbers men
Whether or not a player is classified as a hero or villain in Dream Team terms depends not on their contribution to football; not on their skill, dedication or hardness at the contest; but on one thing and one thing only – the quality and consistency of their Dream Team numbers.
Do they mark? Do they kick? Do they tackle? Do they chip it back and forth to their teammates and shamelessly pad out their stats? Reliability is the name of the game and players like Dean Cox, Dane Swan and Jimmy Bartel are considered champions because they deliver week-in, week-out, over a number of years.
Not all men are as dependable as this. Every Dream Team coach has a list of players who have cost them games or flags or a good portion of their sanity, purely because of their lack of consistency. Players who get 130 one week and 13 the next, Brendan Fevola-style.
Once you have been burned by a player like this, it’s hard to go back to them, no matter how much their stats improve or their fortunes change. The dye is cast, the reputation set in stone, and there is no force on earth that can change your opinion of them.
The Mayors feel that way about Jared Brennan.
The honey trap
Jared Brennan is a classic example of the ‘honey trap’ – a player who sets the Dream Team world ablaze with two towering hundreds and then explicably goes to pieces as soon as you pick him up.
Despite our misgivings, the Mayors drafted Jared in round three, 2007, only to toss him out of the club four rounds later with 20 bucks in his pocket and the words ‘do not return’ stamped on his forehead. He will never be able to apologise enough.
No matter what Jared achieves in his career from here on in - no matter how good he gets or how consistent he becomes, he is verboten when it comes to my team. If I live to be 100 and Jared collects six Brownlows, four Norm Smiths, 10 best and fairests and gets named AFL player of the century, I will still turn to my grandkids, spit on the ground and say:
“Jared Brennan – 128, 105 and 26. Can’t trust the bloke.”
This week’s question
This week, I want you to tell me who your biggest Dream Team hero or villain is and why. Send your answers to dreamteam@afl.com.au, making sure to put ‘Hindy’ in the subject line. I’ll run the best answers in next week’s column.
Thanks to all those people who sent in answers to last week’s question “I knew I’d thrown logic out the window when…”
Buddy Franklin’s name came up a bit but Shail Singh knew it when he looked down at his trade list and saw “Out: Luke Hodge – In: James Polkinghorne.” Now there’s a quality trade.
Cheers,
Hindy
CEO and coach of the Hindsight Mayors
The views in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
