| IF | THEN | |
| Adelaide | you're asked which player you'd happily go to war with... | …make sure you give deep thought to Brad Crouch. An astonishing comeback from a broken leg. |
| Brisbane Lions | the Lions have done one good thing this year... | ...it is appointing Greg Swann as CEO. |
| Carlton | beating North Melbourne wasn't enough... | ...compensation for Waite's free agency departure jumped at least one round last Friday. |
| Collingwood | Pies fans wanted a glimpse of their midfield of the future... | ...they're getting it this season. No Ball and Swan this week continues the trend. |
| Essendon | Jake Carlisle hadn't had that chat with Wayne Carey... | …would he have come of age as a forward in the last two matches? Maybe. But it doesn't matter. The Legend of Duck has been enhanced. |
| Fremantle | you wanted to be a fly on a wall at any time this season... | ...finding a little patch in the Dockers' meeting room the day Ross got his players back after a four-day break would have been an interesting starting point. |
| Geelong | Joel Selwood plays like that after actually being able to train... | ...look out the rest of the competition for the rest of the season. |
| Gold Coast | you haven't realised how good Dion Prestia's season has been, and you should have, because even when Gaz was playing he was vying for best-and-fairest... | ...being awarded the captaincy for the QClash should alert you. |
| Greater Western Sydney | you were regularly publicly adamant that one of your gun players wasn't carrying serious injury but then rule him out for the season when it suits you to do so... | ...you should admit you had been lying. |
| Hawthorn | you're a Hawks fan and you're debating whether to 'boo' Buddy this week… | …don't. Leave that sort of stuff to the classless supporters of other clubs. |
| Melbourne | any Dees fans were hoping Cameron Ling would be at the club as the next senior coach... | ...you'd better find a new favoured option. |
| North Melbourne | you want nice odds on a multi... | ...take North to beat Geelong next week into North losing to GWS in a fortnight. That's what this club does, and that formline has nearly blown up a season of footy. |
| Port Adelaide | Matty Primus was still coach... | ...Kane Cornes would have been three years retired, not about to rightly enter a 15th season. |
| Richmond | the Tigers are going to make a late season charge, and we think they will... | ...they'll fix up the Eagles in Perth. |
| St Kilda | you were one of the Saints fans who rocked up at Etihad Stadium last week... | ...you deserved every bit of enjoyment you got. You're a true supporter. |
| Sydney Swans | Buddy ditches a mate and long-time fully accredited AFL player manager for a manager of celebrities, including his own girlfriend, who has no AFL accreditation... | ...we're wondering what his next off-field move will be. |
| West Coast | you ever let your memory trick you into thinking Dean Cox of 2014 is reflective of Dean Cox's career... | ...reboot into reality and convince it that Cox sits very, very comfortably in any discussion that focuses on the game's greatest ever ruckmen. |
| Western Bulldogs | you're a Dogs fan... | ...then you're getting around with a pretty big grin at the moment. Just need your recruiters to get some big blokes now. |
Click here for more Sliding Doors
Follow Damian Barrett on Twitter: @barrettdamian
