KYLE Hardingham was only a couple of hours away from playing his first AFL final when his phone rang.

The Essendon defender was driving to the MCG to face Carlton in last year's elimination final when one of his mates from Perth called with bad news.

Hardingham's friend and former teammate, Kyle Thomas, was rushed to hospital the day before after an on-field collision in a local Grand Final. On his way to his own final, Hardingham found out Thomas had been put on life support and wasn't expected to survive. Understandably, he was rattled.

Moments earlier he had been thinking about how he was going to attack the day, play tight on his man, and create as much play as he could from the Bombers' backline.

"The call changed my mindset a fair bit," Hardingham told AFL.com.au this week.

The first thing Hardingham did when he arrived at the ground was speak to the club's chaplin, Allan Dunn. Dunn offered some comforting words, and after that Hardingham met with the coaches. They, too, had Hardingham's welfare at the forefront of their mind.

"You go from thinking about the game to thinking about doing well for different reasons," Hardingham said.

"You want to play well for your friend and put it all on the line for him.

"The best thing was that the coaches sat me down and asked me if I wanted to play and whether I was fine to play, and I said there was nothing that I wanted to do more."

Hardingham wrote Thomas' name on his arm when he took the field, but it was unable to inspire the Bombers, who lost by 62 points and were bundled out of the finals.

Tragically, Thomas lost his fight the day after the game and died. Hardingham was unable to make the funeral back in Western Australia, but says the events reinforced the attitude he should take into any situation.

"It makes me want to stay in the moment instead of worrying about what might happen next week or in the future," Hardingham said. "It's about living life to the fullest and living in the now rather than anything else."

It's an approach that has resonated in Hardingham's football, too. The 23-year-old has missed only one of Essendon's last 32 games since he made his debut at the end of 2010. Now, as he settles into his third AFL season, he feels he has earned his position in the Bombers' back half. He's taking his chance.

"I've worked really hard to get to where I am and I'm not just going to give it up without a fight," he said.

Hardingham's versatility has proved key to Essendon's defence. His leap enables him to play above his height (186cm), and his speed helps him match up well with smaller forwards.

This week he expects to play on one of the Blues' in-form crumbing forwards. In the clubs' round four draw last year, Hardingham kept Eddie Betts to seven disposals and no goals, and he took away some lessons from the experience. He hopes to face the goal-sneak again.

"I wouldn't mind the challenge of playing on him," Hardingham said.

"Betts and Jeff Garlett are never out of the contest so you might think you've got them beat but the ball will bounce and go straight to them.

"You can’t afford to be lazy and ball watch. You've just got to be on them at all times."

Callum Twomey covers Essendon news for AFL.com.au. Follow him on Twitter at @AFL_CalTwomey.

Kyle Hardingham is a $278,900 defender in Toyota AFL Dream Team. Register your team here.