1: Swings and roundabouts
THEME rounds. We've had Indigenous Round, Rivalry Round, Barry Round and Barry Hall's Roundhouse Round. Now we're half-way through Simon Black Round, so-named because it's the round you have when you're not having a round.
Black reckons the season's too long, and controversially suggests cutting a month off at the start of it all. We're happy with that, as long as we start with round five and play 26 rounds. The Lions star also says that after missing a couple of weeks with injury earlier this year he came back refreshed both mentally and physically.
We can recommend a couple of blokes in dark suits and sunglasses who would be happy to arrange for Black to be refreshed again both mentally and physically if he wishes. Meanwhile, Black is doing like the round and splitting for the beach.
2: For whom the Bell tolls
FREMANTLE president Rick Hart and coach Mark Harvey have no desire to ring the changes (or any other lame puns) and want little Peter Bell's stumpy legs to scuttle about on the wide hectarage of Subiaco for another season.
We're all for that here at The Four Points, having once saved Bell's dog from being run over. (True story. Having been rescued the ungrateful mutt then had the temerity to eat our dog's food ... but we digress.) We put only one proviso on Bell going around again. A ban on the Subi dingbat who rings the bell every time the little bloke touches the ball.
3: Who'da thunk it?
WIDELY hailed as a free-thinking and innovative coach, Adelaide's Neil Craig has devised a novel – nay, radical – plan to try to upset the mighty Cats at AAMI Stadium on Friday night. Kick a bigger score than them.
Craig also noted that he had devised a 'three-second' rule at training to encourage his players to move the ball on more quickly. We trust that works a little more effectively than the rule designed to stop Matthew Lloyd hitching up his daks, throwing grass into the air and singing the full version of Stairway to Heaven before kicking for goal.
4: Silence is golden
JUST when we made our bold assertion that Neil Craig is a coach with a unique take on footy, he goes and proves we are entirely wrong. Cheers, mate! In fact, Craig and Swans coach Paul Roos are two peas in a pod.
Both admit to giving their players the silent treatment – Roos after a loss and Craig just about all of the time. Roosy is worried about what he might say in the heat of the moment; Craig is worried that his troops are afflicted by short-term memory loss and can't remember where they've parked their cars let alone what he might say to them.
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Friday
A matter of numbers
Geelong's forward coach Ken Hinkley shows why one G. Ablett, a Johnson, a Mooney, a Chapman and a Stokes are better than one G. Ablett.
Doctor, doctor, gives us the news
With Dream Teams in mid-round lock down we tried to do the same thing with Dr Dream Team, but the pesky pseudo medico somehow broke free to boldly declare the players you would be wise to trade for.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
