WITH the 2022 Toyota AFL Premiership season racing to its conclusion, Damian Barrett's Sliding Doors is really starting to crank up.

So put your seatbelt on and enjoy the ride as Damo takes off the gloves and takes aim at your team.

So what is he saying about your club? What's he saying about the AFL? You can't say that, Damo, can you? Check it out below.

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IF ...

Izak Rankine has chosen the Crows as his preferred footy home...

THEN ...

this club needs to properly get its head around its first pick in the draft – No.5, which will slip to No.6 due to Will Ashcroft's father-son bidding requirements of Brisbane – will need to be used in some form. Can see this club dragging this right out, though.

IF ..

Joe and Oscar simply had to come into the preliminary final team to play Geelong...

THEN ...

there would have still been deep reflection at match committee meetings about how well the team played without them in a brilliant semi-final win against Melbourne. Lions nicely unpredictable and agile without them. Hope they're not too predictable and cumbersome with them.

IF ...

Harry McKay has a Coleman Medal on his CV...

THEN ...

he's obviously elite. But his pay packet, nicely north of $900k a year, already reflects that status, and he didn't meet expectations in 2022. Contracted for 2023, but that hasn't stopped rival clubs asking the question.

IF ...

you were to somehow remove or at least for a moment forget all the hype, the criticism, the questionable umpiring initially for and then more commonly against him, the unfair booing, the offerings on TikTok, the accusation of a chicken-winging, the haircut and then the hair bleaching...

THEN ...

you'd simply see a very smart footballer who has kicked 39 very important goals (only Brody Mihocek has more for the Pies with 40), has a rare calmness in pressurised moments, possesses an old-school footy brain and is more selfless than people choose to realise. Jack Ginnivan. What a year, no matter what happens on Saturday against the Swans and potentially beyond.

IF ...

those being put through the coach search "process" at Essendon have been asked to sign Non-Disclosure Arrangements...

THEN ...

I wonder why a member of the sub-committee search "process", Jordan Lewis, is speaking publicly about some of the goings-on. But I wonder even more why James Hird is being even considered. Certainly, a lot of the 34 players who missed a year of footy are wondering, too. Mess everywhere.

IF ...

his 2022 playing peers adjudged Andrew Brayshaw as the season's best...

THEN ...

I'm really keen to see where the umpires have him placed in Sunday night's Brownlow Medal count. Somewhere very high on the leaderboard, most likely.

IF ...

Parfitt, Menegola, Ceglar and O'Connor are the currently listed emergencies...

THEN ...

that's a very strong quartet unable to find selection for the preliminary final against Brisbane. I expect O'Connor to play, possibly in the 22 and not necessarily as the sub, possibly for a run-with role on Lachie Neale.

IF ...

the coaches couldn't split Touk Miller and Clayton Oliver as their official players of the year...

THEN ...

the Suns captain is poised to poll very nicely on Sunday night in the Brownlow. Tallied 17 votes in 2021, and had an even better year in 2022.

IF ...

players have wanted to walk out of this club since its inception, including a lot more this year...

THEN ...

something has to change. Best-and-fairest winner Taranto, two-time best-and-fairest placegetter and in-contract Hopper, No.12 draft pick Bruhn and Hill the latest. There may well be more. And with the Giants committing to play hardball on Bruhn in dealings with Geelong, there’s a big chance he will end up in the pre-season draft. Also not sure his albeit very limited exposed form necessarily justifies the playing of a hardball game on him.

IF ...

Sam Mitchell has got one player, Karl Amon, to head his way next year...

THEN ...

don't be surprised if there are a couple, or even few, more. Has been very busy scouring opposition lists for a long time.

IF ...

Clarry, Trac and Maxxy combined for 70 votes in last year's Brownlow (31, 23 and 16 respectively)...

THEN ...

that's an extraordinary amount of votes between three teammates. But it cost one of them a win. Same thing will probably happen again on Sunday night.

IF ...

anyone thinks Clarko isn't already in full-time mode as North Melbourne coach...

THEN ...

they don't know what makes Clarko tick. The Hawks may have this week reminded him he is still contracted to them until midnight October 31, and perhaps threatened to hold off on the remaining hundreds of thousands of dollars they were forced to pay him for not coaching them this year. That's just Jeff being Jeff, having one last crack.

IF ...

Junior Rioli is an OK pick up for 2023...

THEN ...

Kozzy Pickett would be a far better one. Don't rule it out.

IF ...

many Tigers were seen curled-up in a corner last week after the drama with the ARC in a loss to Brisbane in an elimination final...

THEN ...

those same people probably remained in that same state after the Lions got hold of the Demons in a semi-final. It wouldn't be a stretch to argue strongly that Richmond should be playing Geelong in Friday night's preliminary final at the MCG.

IF ...

Jack Sinclair couldn't find a place in the Saints' 22 for nearly the first half of the 2020 season but just 18 months later had established himself as the side's best player in the 2022 season...

THEN ...

that's some serious turnaround. And even at 27, is clearly getting better by the game.

IF ...

it was both joyous and heartbreaking for Stuart Maxfield in 2005 when as captain of the Swans he watched from the sidelines with a knee injury the breaking of a 72-year premiership drought...

THEN ...

it will be the same for former skipper Josh Kennedy should the Swans land the 2022 flag. His body may have broken down. But like Maxfield, the spiritual foundations he has laid will forever stand.

IF ...

it suited West Coast when Tim Kelly wanted to return to Perth for family reasons...

THEN ...

surely it could have refrained from the public smashing of Junior Rioli for wanting to make a move to Port Adelaide for family reasons.

IF ...

Josh Dunkley desperately wanted out and was retained two years ago only because of an existing contract...

THEN ...

fast forward those two years ago, and here we go again. Brisbane Lions looming very large, ahead of Port Adelaide. Will be a big loss for the Dogs.

AND THIS ONE'S FOR THE AFL

IF ...

Brad Scott says no to Essendon's phone calls and stays as the AFL's football boss...

THEN ...

I really hope he blows up the Match Review Office-tribunal-appeals tribunal judiciary structure. The whole system needs modern streamlining. And no more access for grandstanding lawyers.