1. One more win like this…
THE FOUR Points’ history teacher, Mr Doyle, was a gruff, bearded man who kept a hip flask next to his battle map of Europe and, we suspect, hated children.
This goes some way towards explaining why we were on the edge of our seat all the way to the end of Titanic, and why we’re unsure whether the AFL’s new advertising campaign is supposed to be funny.
Happily, the year we studied ancient history, Mr Doyle was replaced by a lovely lass fresh from teaching college. That’s why we vaguely remember the Phyrric wars, which contained one of history’s first examples of sarcasm. Picking his way through the pile of bodies, the victor, Phrryus, said, “If we win any more of these things, we’ll be ruined”.
Phyrrus’ modern successor, Essendon coach Matthew Knights, put things equally memorably yesterday afternoon: "At times, there's someone that comes out of that situation not flash, and unfortunately it was Scott.”
2. Another kick in the shinbone
Sometimes, when sifting through the rubble of our weekend tips, we wonder whether Dean Laidley’s North Melbourne is deliberately toying with us all.
The Roos wrecked our tipping last year, after we resolutely backed them for the first three weeks, then hopped off the bandwagon only to watch them romp mercilessly to a preliminary final.
With Essendon not having beaten the shinboners since their famous comeback win in 2001, we ticked the North box yesterday, then sat back confidently to watch a 55-point hiding.
We’re tipping a disastrous start for the Roos, followed by 15 straight wins against the likes of Collingwood (round five), West Coast (round eight) and Geelong (round 11). Which means you can safely expect the reverse.
3. Roll up, roll up
GIVEN that the World Swimming Championships a few years ago were watched by every single living organism, and last year’s Australian Grand Prix was attended by all of those plus some trilobites, it’s easy to be jaded by crowd figures in sport.
But the club membership figures released by the league yesterday are worth a closer look.
Before the first round, 496,759 people had bought memberships of one of the 16 AFL clubs. That’s 37,000 more than at the same time in 2007, and just a half-full Telstra Dome short of the final figure last year.
Almost one in 40 Australians have already bought memberships, and that doesn’t account for the workaday fans who made round one the eighth-best attended round in history, and the second best opening round, after last year’s.
Any way you look at it, footy has a fair old grip on the nation.
4. Move along, no wee jokes to see here
WE HAD this spot all earmarked for a surprise birthday greeting to Richmond skipper Kane Johnson, who turned 30 last week.
Sadly, as you might have heard, Johnson went and gazumped us by ending a quiet night out with family and friends with what AAP have been calling a ‘damaging leak’.
Johnson apologised to his teammates yesterday for letting them down, letting his club down and letting himself down. He’s accepted a fine and a one-(wee)k ban. And with that rather pissy effort (sigh), the Four Points has accepted that we are, finally, completely out of wee jokes.
WHAT’S COMING UP
What to look out for on afl.com.au this Tuesday
More awards than Driving Miss Daisy
The year’s first NAB AFL Rising Star is launched this morning, followed by nominations for Mark of the Year, Goal of the Year and our favourite Alwyn Davey vehicle, the Army Award.
James McDonald
Melbourne’s veteran fronts the press ahead of his 200th game – hopefully a more memorable occasion than his 199th.
To plead, or not to plead
Richmond and Carlton fans should be paying closest attention as pleas are entered, or not, following the match review panel’s charges yesterday. Tiger Cam Howat and Blue Adam Hartlett can each accept a two-match suspension with early pleas.
The views in this story are those of the author and not necessarily those of the clubs or the AFL.
