"MY HEAD was about to spin off."

Brett Deledio had played 250 AFL games. He was a No.1 pick, an AFL Rising Star, a dual Richmond best and fairest and a dual All-Australian. But he had never experienced anything quite like the complex mix of emotions that had gone into the week-long build-up before playing his first game against his former side.

There are countless players to have tasted the raft of intricate feelings that are poured into that week. Be it banter or bitterness, jealousy or determination, anxiety or confidence, every emotion is heightened. On Saturday, Jason Horne-Francis will become the next player to wrestle with such similar sentiments.

Feelings on both sides of the Horne-Francis fence are still raw, barely eight months after the former No.1 pick stunned North Melbourne officials by requesting a trade to Port Adelaide last October. Both, in their own ways, have reason to feel aggrieved and let down by what eventuated throughout a tumultuous 2022 season at Arden Street.

Although the circumstances weren't necessarily similar for Deledio, who had given 12 excellent years of service to Richmond before crossing to Greater Western Sydney in 2016 in exchange for future first and third-round draft picks, the experience was arguably more delicate for both parties.

Deledio's first game against the Tigers happened to coincide with the milestone of his 250th AFL match. It also just happened to be a preliminary final, to be played in front of an expected crowd of more than 94,000 people. The stakes for the new Giant and his array of ex-teammates, understandably, were at an all-time high.

"I had that many things going on," Deledio told AFL.com.au this week.

"Playing against your old side and a lot of your old mates, in a preliminary final, in your 250th. I was thinking, 'How did they get to where they are?' I'd been there, I knew what the place was like, but at the same time I was thinking that I just had to do my job and try and offer something.

"I didn't want to embarrass myself against my old teammates or my old supporters."

Campbell Brown knew that last particular feeling quite well. Once a premiership player with Hawthorn, he had carefully considered the cost of psyching himself up too much when he eventually locked horns with his former side for the first time as a Gold Coast player back in 2011.

One of Gold Coast's first uncontracted signings after it was announced as the League's 17th expansion club, Brown had always played better on the edge. But, then a wily veteran closing in on his 200th game, he knew there could also be a downfall in letting your emotions dictate your performance.

"You're pretty anxious," Brown told AFL.com.au.

"You want to play well every week, but I feel like you almost want to really play well against your old club and show them what they're missing out on and prove a point. That can go two ways, because you can sometimes be too wound up and too anxious and not deliver or play well."

Mitch Robinson, though, did use it as motivation. Cut from Carlton after 100 games across six seasons at Princes Park, he knew he would have plenty to prove as he circled the calendar for his first fixture against the Blues. He wasn't just looking to make that statement to his old teammates, either, but list managers and coaches as well.

"I can remember everything," Robinson told AFL.com.au.

"It was the first time I'd ever been nervous, because I had a big chip on my shoulder. As soon as the fixture came out, I thought, 'OK, that's the game where I want to play my best footy'. I lost my first game against the Blues and I was pissed off, but then we had the wood on them throughout the rest of my career at the Lions.

"It's emotional, it's draining. People will say, 'It's just another game'. But, personally, you know what it means to you as a player. I had that chip on my shoulder. I went out there and tried to play my best footy and tried to stick it up them, just to say I shouldn't have been cut by them.

"I really wanted to prove a point to them that it was a silly decision and that I could still play footy at the highest level. I just went out there and tried to play my arse off. Mentally, in the game, you just want to win. That's the bragging rights where you can shut them up about it."

The emotional pulls can equate to bizarre in-game happenings. If your old friends and teammates sledge you, it might be weird. But having them completely ignore you is perhaps even stranger. Any sort of physical intimidation from someone classified as a mate is expected, or even laughed at, but when they leave you alone it can affect you mentally as much as anything. Naturally, that impacts your performance.

"I remember a high ball went up and I was in the goal square. I went to mark it and it's bounced off my chest. I'd never done that before in my life. Obviously, I was just rattled by the whole moment," Deledio said.

"I remember the crowd giving me Bronx cheers. I finally got a touch and you could hear the boos and whatever else. I just thought, 'Hopefully this is the start'. But then I remember sitting there in the third quarter and it was almost like an out of body experience. I couldn't believe that was happening. I was there, but I wasn't there. It was really weird."

Then there's the fan response. Clearly the most emotional branch involved in the week's events, booing during a game – and even the thought of booing in the lead-up to the match itself – can add hostility to the occasion.

"I remember just thinking, 'I wonder how the Hawthorn fans will respond'. Will they boo me? Won't they boo me? I also remember thinking, 'Gee I'd be disappointed if they booed me'," Brown said.

"Hawthorn fans didn't, which felt good. It wouldn't have fazed me. But little things like that, for a normal home and away game against another club, you don't really think too much about. It's a weird feeling."

The strange mixture of emotions doesn't magically disappear when you cross the white line, either. For as much as coaches and support staff might help you take your mind off it throughout the week, supporters will almost always ensure you get a timely reminder as soon as the ball is bounced.

"I only felt it when I got booed," Robinson said.

"That kind of threw me off a little bit. I'd given so much to the club, I left it all out there for them. To get booed by them, I felt angry by it. But, at the same time, you can understand that that's just supporters and that's just what they do. It wasn't the first time I got booed by them and it wasn't the last."

One thing that Horne-Francis will perhaps have on his side this weekend is the location of the match. With the fixture scheduled to take place in Hobart, rather than North Melbourne's normal home base at Marvel Stadium, the location will likely ease tensions significantly from the fan base.

It certainly did for Brown. Having waited 12 weeks of his first season with Gold Coast to finally play Hawthorn, he was relieved to find out the match was also fixtured to be played in Tasmania at the Hawks' second home in Launceston.

"It definitely took the sting out of it a little bit," Brown said.

"Certainly, there's not the very big support for one team. Hawthorn had their supporters down there, but it's a bit different to being at the MCG in front of a bigger crowd and things like that. If this weekend's game was at Marvel Stadium and was full of North Melbourne supporters, the environment might be a little bit more hostile for Jason."