ADAM Ramanauskas appreciates the emotion of his first appearance in Essendon's annual Clash for Cancer match, but is just hoping for a return to form as his club continues its run to the finals against Melbourne on Saturday.
Ramanuaskas, whose well-celebrated triumph over cancer has been one of the AFL's most inspiring stories, says he is more intent on continuing his team's surge than making a point in a game that has obvious connections to him and his family.
"I want to go and get a kick actually," Ramanauskas said. "I've been terrible, to be honest, in the past couple of weeks.
"You always want to be contributing to the team ... I've felt at times I've really contributed and at times I haven't at all.
"The last couple of weeks have been terrible so this week, being the game that it is, I'm looking to rectify that."
Ramanauskas added that he is yet to decide on his playing future beyond this year.
"I'd love to go on but I haven't even sat down with 'Knighta' (Matthew Knights) yet. It's something we'll probably do at the end of the year," he said.
And the 27-year-old admitted that if Essendon had not been struck by injury in recent weeks, he may not have got a game.
"We’ve been a few troops down so I’ve probably snuck in a few games I shouldn’t have got," he said.
Despite his form concerns, Ramanauskas is proud of what the Call to Arms campaign and the annual cancer clash has achieved.
"It’s something that I’ve been very passionate about and something that I will continue to be passionate about," he said.
"The response that we’ve got from the Victorian public last year and now from the national public this year has been phenomenal."
Ramanauskas considers that his personal battle with the disease has encouraged him to not take anything for granted.
"I never particularly liked the day-to-day grind of it all but you sort of enjoy it now," he said. "I’ve got a great group of mates here that I’ve played a lot of footy with, but I’m really enjoying my time with the younger fellas as well.
"We’ve got a couple of really good characters in the rooms that I have a lot of fun with. It’s been so exciting to watch them develop."
A member of Essendon's 2000 premiership side, he believes the young group is capable of bringing another flag to Windy Hill in the not-too-distant future.
"That’s the plan," he said. "That’s the way the coaching staff are really developing these guys.
"We’ve got a long way to go obviously but I think you’ve seen probably over the last eight weeks that the methods and structures that we’ve put in place are working.
"We’re still playing attacking style of football but you’ve seen over the weeks that the defensive side of our game has really come to the fore."