PURPLE AND GREEN SHOULD NOT BE SEEN
Or to put it another way...........
GRAPE EXPECTATIONS
Dear Reader,
is there anything - this poor excuse of a contribution to literature included - more underwhelming in life than the Fremantle Dockers Football Club?
Nary a murmur as they toddled onto the ground and barely a whimper as they sunk another six point nail into the Collingwood form-slump. They make a library seem noisy, this mob. In fact
they actually made this week's tenth anniversary lovers spat of the silly-billys at Kirabilli seem almost interesting.
If footy was a car they'd be the parking space. (Speaking of which I must say how refreshing it was to cruise up to the CCG one hour before the first bounce and find a vacant FREE parking spot virtually right out the front door. Ya just can't do that at a real match against a real team. The parking spot was so good in fact that I seriously considered leaving my car there and taking the train home so desirous was that two by four metres of bitumen.)
But I digress.
My gripe this week is not another shabby performance from the once Mighty Black 'n' Whites. Nor is it the indignity of being shanghaied by the AFL's wet lettuce, the Dockers.
My gripe is once again the disgraceful treatment meted out to the Sheik of the Sherrin, the Baron of the Boot, the Lord of the Liniment, the Ayatollah of the Running Goaler - Nathan Buckley.
Never mind the fact that there wasn't a peep from Dobber Wallace all week about the treatment Bucks received from those rancid reptilian Saint supporters last week. As my friend Crystal, the glass blower, said “Maybe we should ferry the Great Man on and off the ground on a gold plated Emirates stretcher to earn Terry Wallets respect.”
NUP. My beef ain't with tan in a can Terry.
My beef goes right to the top. All the way to Andy D and his faceless fixturing cronies.
They've had twelve whole months to prepare for the one of the modern game's greatest if not THE greatest player's coronation. TWELVE MONTHS!
That’s almost a year!
But what is the best they can come up with to celebrate Bucks' three hundredth AFL appearance (they seem to include pre-season games now – so it was a surprise to us all – BUT REALLY!!!) and AFL Life Membership - a nondescript Freo game played in front of a crowd even the Bulldogs could get and some mumbled pre-game announcement shuffled in between SA-KA-TA's.
That's it.
Where were the dancing girls?
Where was the releasing of three hundred doves?
Where were the trumpets, the fire works, the balloons?
A shocking effort all round - particularly from his team-mates. Simply shocking.
This man………no, this ICON has given his heart, his soul and his all to the wonderful (despite all the constant rule changes, crap umpiring and uneven salary caps) game of Orstrayan Rules Football. He has given so much of himself to the game he is a bloody footballing organ donor! He even played for the AFL Allies – and nobody should have to do that!!
And what does he get in return on Sundee?
A Collingwood so out of sorts that the runner was one of the best players and a garbled Flinders Street announcement of his greatness!
What an insult says I!
So on behalf of the entire footballing world I wish to simultaneously apologise and congratulate the master and commander on yet ANOTHER footballing milestone in his stellar career. The AFL and Collingwood might haven't given you nuffin special on Sundee Bucks, but you can always have my parking spot mate. No matter how good.
And God, if yer reading this - and let's face it, you and Bucks are the only two omnipresent guys I know - PLEASE stop the Pies playing more crap than a community service radio station and let them win a premiership.
Not for me.
We both know who deserves it more.
Please Note: the views expressed in the above article are solely the opinion of the author. The Collingwood Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of those supporters who contribute to collingwoodfc.com.au.
